As most of you know I have been sick for a week or more. Well since last Thursday. Head ache, dizziness, stomach churning, nausea, now add in diarrhea. But I pulled it together enough to work Tuesday and it was a day from heck for all the units, and Ron couldn’t come help me when I got two Admits at the same time as he was having the same problem in his unit. What a day.
Most of you know some of my home life as a child growing up in an unhappy abusive home under harsh conditions. Most of you know about how despite that childhood, the beatings and the many childhood sleepless nights of tears; Ron and I sold our home in West Palm Beach and moved to this coast and this park to take care of my mother and step father as their health declined so that they could still come to Florida. Despite always being used for their wants we gave of our time and money and effort to give him his last trip to Florida so he could die in peace. Same for her. Ron made many trips north to get them as their own children and grand children, who all suckled off the parents money teat, would not help them go to Florida as they wished too. Indeed the thought of them being in Florida enraged my mother and step fathers children to no end. It seems the mind set was ”how dare they go off to Florida and enjoy themselves and spend their own money on them selves”.
My step siblings for years have complained and schemed to make sure I got no part of “their parents” estate. Indeed they have worked and complained to keep any money from being spent in Florida in case some might some how find a way to Ron or I. Despite all we were doing, and that they were being given big cash gifts and living cost free in the parents home, they worried we might be given a dinner out for our trouble.
I never spelled MOM with the letters ATM.
So a few years before he died my step father started to insist that Ron and I take the home they had here, a 12 X 38 park model mobile home with a sun porch, and put it in our name. It is not even real estate as there is no land. It is registered like a car. He was afraid that his “kids from hell” would make their mother sell it after his death, for their own gain and depriving her of her vacations to Florida. We resisted him as we did not want it, did not want the extra responsibly and did not want the wrath that would come from those who worship money.
we gave in as it was one of his last wishes. We signed the papers to make the place ours.
Oh my Gods, the forces of evil had a nervous break down and after my step fathers death, right his funeral, they started badgering mother to sell it. Insisting! They even called me to tell me she was, not knowing I owned it and would save it for her.
Finally in tears mom called me and begged my help. She was besieged by them. What was she to do? I told her to put who ever was there on the phone. I calmly told one of them that she couldn’t sell because I OWNED the place and to stop bothering her.
For two years they kept her from coming down here. Ron went and got her when she called and again cried to him. She was so badgered by them she went back north after a short while under the promise they would bring her back down. They lied. She called and again begged Ron to come get her and he did. This happened a few more times.
The last time she went north was after she was given a few weeks to live and got strong enough for one last trip. A local man who gave up his own needed heart operations to give her 24 hour a day care drove her. My step siblings from hell tore into him. My step sister called him a leach and bum and a deviant derelict right in church in front of mothers friends. They called him other names and wouldn’t let him enjoy anything. It was humiliating to him and to her and to us! 24 hour a day care for a year he had given her.
So a few years ago we found out that my step “siblings from hell” had insisted and made mother put the house here we own into the will as a gift to us from the estate, and gave it a value which it is not worth today for sure. We knew someday she might need to go to a nursing home and we knew the law required medicare to recoup the money gifted from an estate. We demanded several times it betaken out of the estate. She went back and forth , claiming she was being told it had to be in the will. OK we said. Take it back. We never wanted it and still don’t , it has only been work and costs since we took it.
We insisted she take it back, give it to the hell kids if she wished, we did not care, just get it out of our part of the will.
No need she claimed, she had the lawyer take it out of the will. It was out of there, free and clear. OK we said. The story of how much Ron gave of his time and effort to her and her needs you already know. I suspected but knew I would not be able to prove it and gave in hoping that the days of being her pawn against others were behind us.
Well we got our copy of the estate will two days ago when we got home from work. One of the people involved called demanding we sign it and return it asap. They had it over two weeks. So Ron read it. He is still angry at Betty. He now understands so much of what I have tried to tell him over the years. We were used, screwed and it will cost us. in several ways. Betty did leave it in the will, she gave it an inflated value and the will calls for the other siblings to get that amount added to their share of the estate.
Think of it, we have to pay rent on it as we can’t sell it, we have had to move her stuff out of it, clean it, paint and repair it from her cats who clawed all the furniture, peed everywhere and so much more. We wont be able to sell it until next year during season so there is about $3,000 out of our pocket. Yet we lose the total she valued it at times (x ) four from the estate before the division. In other words they get the value added to their share for no work, no costs, and not effort for it, and that amount is deducted from the total amount of the estate to be divided between all.
We have two choices, we can sign the will form and send it back and get them out of our lives. Or we can contest it and send it to probate with no guaranty anything will improve.
As we never wanted money from her, refused her many attempts to slip us money or give us expensive things, ( they took them and fumed we might be getting the same so it was a point of pride for us to refuse ) We simply have made our lives our selves, our way, and owe no one for what we have become or done. Our home is paid for by us, our one car is paid off early and the other we will in a year or so, our bills are paid, our bellies full, our home full of cheer and happiness. This year we gained a grand young man who is our son, in our hearts and his, and he has asked if when we are married if he can take our name. We said yes with joy!
So we have so much more than the greed, anger and hate that seems to fill them. She begged each of them to come see her before she died, they couldn’t find the time or money. She offered to pay. They still did not come. But less than an hour after calling them with the death news they called to say they would arrange to have some one come get her ratty old van and stuff….sadly she had no stuff of worth and the van is not worth coming to get. They could come for that , but not to see her. They also insisted we send them all her jewelry right away…over night express mail at a cost to us of $155 dollars. They just had to have it right away. Of course they would pay us back, send the check right away. We did, taking pictures of everything and to tell the truth , she had nothing left of any worth. It had all been taken back by the one who lived in her home up north and raided the home here three times. He left after being heard to say he would be back later to clean the place out. There was only a bunch of discolored tangled chains and a few cheap pendants. Her good rings she wanted kept on at hospice and we made sure were shipped with her body.
So there you have it. Ron has finally gotten it. He has reached a limit. He now has the anger I have had so long for both mother, step father, and the hell siblings. He can’t get over his anger at her, but to tell the truth I have. I have been numb for years concerning them. I am and I guess I have been an orphan for years.
I am ready to let it all go. I have asked Ron to read the papers again. Look carefully at them, as I can’t stand too. If he finds no other surprises I will sign them, send them back, and after the estate is settled, I NEVER want to think of them again, hear from them again, to have any contact with them again. They can go on with their lives and I wish them no harm, ( not worth it to me to have that on my Karma ) and I will continue to have a life they can only hope for.
I should proof read this, but if I do I will end up deleting it. In truth this whole post is some what a shadow on my karma and peace of being. I wont be like them. I wont do what they do. I will be what I am. Let the universe sort it out. I am sure it will. Hugs