Hello to all. This post is an important one for all young people to hear. It is written by a man who has lived this life he describes so well. The emotional turmoil and the uncertainty. The need and want on one hand, while the love and compassion for your mate on the other. If you are thinking of living your life in a mixed gender marriage while you are sure you are gay then please read this post and check out the rest of the blog. You can see the love he really has for his wife, and you can also see the intense pain he lives in. It is a hard place to be in, yet he does it as honorable as anyone could. Still it is an emotional strain and meat grinder. Hugs
January 31, 2015
January 29, 2015
“American Sniper” lionizes the most despicable aspects of U.S. society—the gun culture, the blind adoration of the military, the belief that we have an innate right as a “Christian” nation to exterminate the “lesser breeds” of the earth, a grotesque hypermasculinity that banishes compassion and pity, a denial of inconvenient facts and historical truth, and a belittling of critical thinking and artistic expression. Many Americans, especially white Americans trapped in a stagnant economy and a dysfunctional political system, yearn for the supposed moral renewal and rigid, militarized control the movie venerates. These passions, if realized, will extinguish what is left of our now-anemic open society.
January 24, 2015
What astounded me is the amount of love these christian writers have for him and how much they seem stuck on sex. I think they just don’t get enough sex and the need has broken their brains. Now not all people of faith are this way, and I know many Christians who would stand up for this man is any tried to harm him. Lets be clear I know and respect many Christians and while I do not believe as they do, I support their right to worship as they wish as long as it harms no one else and they don’t try to make me do it. Please no virgin sacrifices in volcanoes or such , and that includes all faiths please. But the ones who write these types of hate mail do not deserve the title of Christian that they gave to themselves. Hugs
January 23, 2015
January 12, 2015
I so agree with this and wish I could have said it was well. Look if anything in your holy book has violence or harm toward any others, if they recommend hurting children, old folks, people who have a different view than any other, then get a new book. Look at what is in side of you. I have seen many people of different faiths come together because they trusted good works, the view of the current society view of good work, not the stoning viewed as a good idea 2000 years ago. So lets be humans, not robots to a few who think the world stopped thousands of years ago. Many hugs
January 5, 2015
Religion And Sex. http://variouspontifications.com/2014/09/16/religion-and-sex/
As I have mentioned before I see a big difference between personal faith, and corporate religions. Personal faith is a code of conduct and way of living you subject only your self to. You may some times share your faith or code if asked , but you don’t mention it, bring it up, try to tell others they need to live by it. It is your way. Organized religions are simply big business, trying their best to do behavior control on everyone to make more money and gather power. They insist that others follow their way as it increases their power and their money intake. The higher ups make their living totally off the lower ones in the group. It is against the corporations rules to question or challenge the elite who make the rules. All rules are designed to give the higher up rule makers more money and power. There is no code of conduct anyone is serious of living by and the more public you make your stance the more your reputation is enhanced, not based on how you acted but on the show you put on.
I hope you can see the difference between the two groups. One is personal and private and done only by the one who decides to live it. The other is a public show designed to fool the masses. I deeply respect personal faith, a man who had such a faith saved my life as a 17 year old boy. I was not expected to live like him for saving me, I was not asked to give money, I was a child being beaten and he wanted to help. He never took credit for his wonderful action. I have no respect for cooperate religions that take the last bite from the ones with nothing, take the last bit of money from the elderly because that way they can go to a better place in death, who claim that one persons worth is decided by the one person not accountable to anyone and as is said in this article they break laws and hurt people and they have no remorse. In fact they feel entitled.
I enjoyed the post at the link above, thought it well written , passionate and explained it self very well. Thanks and hugs.
January 2, 2015
One of the things I like about my blog is the diverse thoughts and ideas I get from all the wonderful people out there. I like this, it was full of information, it express so ideas I had but did not know how to say. So many of the people I get to read and who come to my Toy Box. Most of the people have skills far above my own. Here is one such person , on a blog I like but is sometimes way over my head, and it was a great informative read. I wish I had a head for logical thinking and debate. My talents run toward emotions of the heart. So when I read these things, I catch drifts and pieces, and lots go over my head. However as I said I found this one to have a lot of sense to it. Hugs
December 30, 2014
Ok before I start this post I would like to get a few things very very clear. I am a survivor of sustained childhood sexual abuse from more than one person, so if you email me with a scream fest that I just can’t understand, your wasting your time, and mine. I took so much damn abuse in my childhood I still at 52 don’t sleep well and have bad dreams all the time. Now if you want to talk out your abuse or need a shoulder I am here, but this is a serious post about a serious problem and we need better ways to deal with it than we have now. This place and if we can build others like it are a good start. Second I don’t want to hear any “lets kill them all” because it is clear that system is broken and too many politicians have used sex offenders as a way to look good and tough for their base, so some thing like mooning or streaking or peeing out doors can get you on the list. How is any of them sexual assault I can’t figure. Third this is a subject that we need to address as the fact is we have a lot of unconstitutional confinements, we have laws designed simply to set offenders up to fail and return them to prison, and we have so many myths and lies about this subject it is almost impossible to figure out.
First let me deal with the subject of revisionism rates. What that means is the chance a person convicted of a crime will do it again. The huge myth is that sexual offenders are not able to control themselves and can never change and will always re-offend. In fact they are looking for their next victim right now. That is totally wrong! Most offenders made a huge mistake in the first place for many different reasons. The fact is that most never re-offend. Yes that is a fact and easily looked up. In fact murderers and arsonists and even bank robbers re-offend, yes go back to the life of crime far more often than former sexual offenders. Yet our laws are so screwed up we don’t have restricted living for murderers and arsonist, nor do we require them to register and we don’t tell the people in the neighborhood they moved in. We just let them get on with their lives and hope they don’t kill anyone else, which statistically they will do more frequently than a sexual offender will assault anyone again. Personally I would rather know a guy who kills people just moved in next door than a guy who got drunk and peed out side a high school at 10 PM.
The fact is the laws we have in place have made the whole system worse than a joke. They are designed to be discriminatory, stigmatizing, punitive, and harmful. They are also designed to make sure that reintegration back into society is near impossible for any one ever put on the list. One mistake can leave a person with no chance for ever having a productive life and being a person in society forever. Not just years but never. No chance, no matter how good or how hard they try, sorry they are just shit out of luck. No other group of people are treated that way, we give second chances to everyone else.
Homelessness, living under bridges in rat infested , no toilets, no shelter, no safety, not even during a hurricane can they go to a shelter. At this point it is not so much in my mind about the label they carry as the one we are creating for our selves. I live in Florida, I was stunned our state let that abusive situation of people being forced to live under a bridge for years go on. It was sickening. I know what a hurricane can do, and most of us are under mandatory evacuation to shelters, but some one who made a mistake and paid his time for it, served all the prison and restrictions added on is expected to just stay in the open and die.
We place such restrictions on these people there is almost no way they can returned to society and be productive members of a community. The laws keep getting stricter and stricter, even against the police chiefs and sheriffs recommendations, and against the people who treat offenders, that there is no chance for them to reform. We want these people to join back in, to not commit another crime, to make a good life for them self and to do good for their community and yet we make that impossible with the laws. Most can’t get jobs, go to school, go even to a library, to movies, to anything that you and I do with out thinking. No matter who or what their crime was against or was, it is all the same restrictions. I read of a person on the offender list who had served his prison time, all his probation, obeyed all the restrictions and wanted to go to collage night courses, and was denied because he was an offender. His crime had nothing to do with collage or the people who go to collage, yet the stigma is for all offenders.
My point is these people paid the price we have our courts sentence them to, then we keep adding on limitations and resurrections every time a politician wishes to look good, with out understanding the cost, it is worse than double jeopardy , it is a never ending punishment they can’t escape from. Let me ask you, how can we ask on one hand they conform to all our laws and be members of the community , then saddle them with never ending punishments that get worse each year. Then we insist they pay for it also, with money they don’t have and can not make. Most offenders either can’t get a job or have to take one far below their ability. They have no chance at a better life. Their bosses don’t want to hire them, after all the company has to be registered on the offender web sites.
Basically what I am trying to show is we are asking the impossible from these people. There is no way for them to win or ever get ahead. There is no way to atone for the crime because we wont let them. There is no way for them to be part of us again. That is a shame, but not the only shame.
There has been a rash of attacks on registered offenders who are listed publicly. At least three in the last few months have been killed that I know of and I bet there are a lot more. Yes simply gunned down or stabbed because the person who killed them thought it was OK to do to kill a sex offender. Now here is the worst part. People on the sex offenders lists are subject to the most strict and horrible conditions and police checks, they are not allowed to even participate in holidays and in a lot of cases even go to church, They are publicly identified and made targets of everyone’s scorn , rage, and attacks with no protection from the police. AND THESE LAWS DO NOT STOP SEXUAL OFFENCES FROM HAPPENING. As I said the revisionism rate is very low.
Fact is none of these laws would have prevented any of my sexual attacks as a kid. The people who used my body were family ( fact most abusers are know to the victim and are a family member ) and either friends of my siblings or were known people in the very small street I lived on. That is why I disagree and dislike these laws, all of them, because they don’t safe guard any child, they don’t protect anyone. All they do is make a hated class in our country everyone feels free to hurt and hate and do as much harm to as possible. That is not human, that is not rehabilitation, that is not helping. It is simply being bullies and thugs. lord of the flies.
Plus on top of all this we have the civil commitment laws. Most of which are just ill disguised attempts to keep offenders permanently locked up long past their sentience. We are locking people up on thoughts, the idea that they MAY in the Future MAYBE commit another crime. We can’t know for sure, but they may. That could be said for every living person on the planet. To me it is so unconstitutional, it is so against human rights. We hold people in prison settings with no charges and it is OK because we call it treatment, yet no treatment is giving and in most of these places no one ever gets out. Plus the laws are designed so if you do try to cooperate everything you say can keep you in civil commitment longer. WTF. Simply put that is not the country I served two tours in the military to protect. It is something like North Korea to me.
I welcome your comments, and if you or some one you know is on the offender list and you wish to comment anonymous, I am OK with that, just email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or ask in the form box for me to keep it anonymous. Let me know what details you wish to have left out.
If you want to blow off steam at sex offenders I will let you have your say, however if you comment is simply to insult or rage, then nope not going on the blog. Keep your comment to the discussion and please keep from name calling. trolls will simply go to the spam file. My blog, my rules. Hugs and loves.
Oh and one other comment. There was another place like this some where where the offenders had made a community. The police loved it as it made checking up on everyone easy and it was a progressive environment for healing…..so of course the town council had one lady who couldn’t stand it and one man running for office who wanted to make a name for them self, so they got the whole trailer park shut down, and that made the police job harder, left all the offenders homeless and out in the community every where, yet the council felt proud of themselves….go figure.
I really liked this post. It was written from the heart and well spoken. It had a lot of good content. I hope you all will go over and see it. I plan to add it to my daily blogs I go to as I think it was that good. Here is the comment I sent to the blog author. I hope he doesn’t mind how long winded I can get. Hugs
Here is the comment I wrote.
I really like your post. I hope you wont mind a few of my own thoughts to what you wrote. Please feel free to edit if you find my writings too long. First I can’t really comment much on any religions take on sexuality because I am not a member of any sect, however basically how can any group of people decided to deny and restrict to draconian amounts human nature and then try to council others on that same nature. For example if I were to claim that only the best people, those chosen by a deity to serve him ate no honey, and that honey was to be eaten only twice a year at certain times and in only one prescribed way, my self having never eaten or forsaken honey, how then could I counsel or understand those who love honey and have it regularly as part of their diet and suffer no harm. I simply couldn’t, not and maintain my position. To them claim to be the authority on honey would seem even more silly.
I think porn today serves an even more important purpose than it ever did. Because it is so available and so diverse many people are finding out things, answers, ideas, and challenges to their own views they never could have before. For example I grew up a gay boy in a small farming town. I thought I was the only gay person in the world. I had never read a book about gays, never heard adults talk about it, and when others older kids did it was as an insult. Now almost every kid can go online and find positive gay role models and an understanding of how to handle their desires. Lets be clear, the human body is designed to be stimulated by sex and sex acts. At any age. Fetuses masturbate in the womb. That is a fact, you can look it up.
Now I am not saying every small child should be exploited and raped, had that in my childhood and it did not do much for my self esteem or development. What I am saying is the response of my body to that was normal, and that I knew I was attracted to males forever, and that I played doctor with other boys not girls and it as all innocent exploration of self. For me and the other boys and we all were below the age of puberty.
I think the real problem is our counties weird unrealistic view of the human body and our fear of sex. Other countries have progressed to the point where the human body is not a sin in it self but a work of art, no two just a like, and nudity is not so feared as violence. In other countries you can show all the human body you want but not the violence we in our country not only are use to but have come to expect. We would rather relish and wade in harmful hurting of others than loving consensual body enjoyment. we would rather see two teenagers tear each other apart and batter each other senseless than explore their body’s. Same for all ages really.
I am sorry you had this negative experience. Can I give you two examples where porn has helped people I know. One is a long time married couple, the husband is no long interested nor able to have sex. The wife uses porn to stimulate her normal desires and to satisfy her normal desires. They are both staying together as they say this works for them. The other is a young man I met when he was 19. He was paraplegic. Had been for half his life. He had normal desires though and porn was the only way he could satisfy them and get release for his need.
Last I hope you wont mind but I wish to reblog your post on my own blog as I think it is greatly important in our world today. Thank you for letting me express my self and thank you for writing this. Many hugs