When watching movies or great TV series I often put my self in the position of the hero. Or at least one of the characters. It feels good , it feels right, and some times I even dream it at night when asleep. But I today I have been watching the “Battle star Galactica” series. I was having fun with it until the show where the two battlestars meet and there is a prisoner on one of the ships. While both ships have prisoners, one ship treats theirs with respect.. and that prisoner helps them out.. the other hurts harms and rapes their prisoner.
I triggered. It took a bit to come back. I still have difficultly writing this. My best way back is the two cats that are right now pressed up on me. Odis on one side and Milo on the other. It makes typing hard I can tell you. However I don’t want this to be about me or my past. I want to explain that hurting people, torturing them, giving them their greatest fears will not nor will it ever get them to tell you the truth. It will get them to tell you what you want to hear.
It is not only my past saying this. I was part of an experiment, a military program , where they took a bunch of us and made us prisoners of war. While we knew it was fake it also was quite real. The experience for me was triggering. But I got a medal out of it because I did all the right things we are taught to do.
But back to harm and mistreatment. Did I ever tell one of my abusers what they wanted to hear…yes you bet I did. I could have told them anything they wanted to hear simply to get the pain to stop. But the pain still wont stop. However not what this post is about. It is about the idea that hurting someone enough, degrading them enough, tearing them down enough will get you the information you want. It wont. See if hurt bad enough you will tell someone anything they want to hear. IF it is bad enough you will make things up. You will do anything to get relief or to have them go torment someone else.
So if you are in a country thinking of doing this, if you are in a country that is doing this, if you are personally thinking this is the way to go….then understand this gets you the opposites of what you really want. Unless what you want is to hurt people. To humiliate others. To rape and show your power over the defenseless.
I am tired, I have way too many emails, and I want to crawl inside a deep safe warm cave. But instead I wrote this. Think please of how you react to everyone you meet, you could give them their best day or start off their worst. Many hugs