Scotties Toy Box

December 22, 2016

I have never really explained this part of the life Ron and I have lived. I left this on the blog of a great young man https://gaysinthelife.com/2016/12/22/return-to-the-leaky-cauldron/#comments

Filed under: News — Scottie @ 21:37

I sympathise with your experience at this point. I can say this because we bought a mobile home in a residential resort park in 2007. We thought we had made a rather good deal as the people agreed to sell it to us for 20 to 30 grand less than the going price in our area. They were a highly christian couple as they took every opportunity to remind us. Why they even took us to church dinners, and to the church christmas play.

A week after we bought the place the refigerator fell through the floor. Seems termites had eaten the floor area under it out. The couple assured us that they had gotten a termite company out to the place and kill all them pesky critters.

Over the next six weeks I kept falling through the floor in different spots throughout the house. Seems there was floor damage here and there , but everywhere there was a hole, they simply nailed the carpeting down around the hole strenthing it for walking. Until it gave. In each place Ron took up the flooring, replaced the joists and placed down new decking and new flooring.

Then we decided to replace a sliding glass door to the enclosed front room with nice fancy french doors with lots of window panes. Well after we peeled the outer wall off , Ron got upset. I was not understanding. He said Scottie look at the header of the center beam. I still did not understand. He said it is crushed. It shouldn’t be. He said we had to take off the entire wall. We did , the entire inner wall was gone. Not a 2X4 in place. The entire thing eaten away by termites. The entire outer wall. So Ron rebuilt it.

Then the bedroom bathroom floor fell out. Ron replaced it. The bathroom off our bedroom had a shower and a toilet. Days after he replaced the floor it started to sag. He knew something was very wrong. He was getting depressed. Sure enough, he cut into the bedroom side wall, and water came spraying out. The pipes had let go. Or to be clear, they had been letting go for years. The entire bathroom had to be ripped out, and the footer, the entire 2×4 walls showed extreme rot and mold.

MOLD

So Ron ripped out the entire bathroom, and bleached every internal wall and footer and headers he could reach. We thought we were in the clear.

Thanksgiving day we were to have over 40 visitors to our home. The church behind us had agreed to loan us the tables and chairs for our carport to hold everyone. Ron was feeling in his glory because he loved having big dinner parties. The morning before I stepped into the tub of our only working bathroom. As I turned the tap, it broke off and shot water out of the bathroom across the hall and into the wall. I screamed for Ron.

He shut the water off. The only way to get the tub out was to cut it out. The taps were built in. We had to have a bathroom for that many people. So Ron cut the tub out with a saws all. Went running around and got parts, put the whole thing together for the time being. Just to get through the next day.

During the party Ron disappeared. That was not like him. He loved these big gatherings. I continued to play great host, getting more and more worried.

I excused myself and went into the house. Past the working bathroom to our torn apart bedroom bathroom where I found the love of my life drenched and upset , up to his arms in sewage. Seems one of our guest ( we can only think that is the reason it happened ) plugged up our only working toilet. When Ron cleared it it cascaded into the torn up bathroom in our bedroom and waste water was flowing into our bedroom. Ron begged me to leave it to him and go back out and entertain our guests and play host.

Then for a few months it seem to settle down. I was finally allowed to go back to work, even though my doctors did not think it a good idea, but I wanted to so badly, I threatened to do so against their direction if need be. I should have listened as it nearly killed me. I still have never recovered.

So I was working at the same place as Ron, an ICU in a hospital and we worked the same hours and days. The only way Ron and my doctors would agree. One day we came home to find the whole kitchen floor gone. When you stepped in the door, there was no where to go. The entire kitchen floor was gone. Seems the pipes under the floor were copper, and in florida copper pipes corrode. They started spraying the sub decking which was pressboard. Once it gets wet it swells and then dissolves. Crap. Ron took a few days off work and built a new kitchen floor.

Then we found new problems. We started asking people in the park about the history of our home. They asked us did we ever question the lifetime metal roof over our main home. No we replied, in fact after we bought the place we had it extended to the areas not covered. Then we found out that during one of the hurricanes our roof was ripped off. The people were seasonal and did not really care. So they left it that way for 8 months. During that time every time it rained it ruined the home.

Ron on hearing that went over the home very carefully. Something we would have done if the people we had bought it from not gone to such great lengths to show us how great Christians they were and how totally holy they were. The damage Ron found scared him and he has built new homes and done remodeling for years. The entire house had mold in the walls. It had floor had massive rot and damage under every window. Every wall was in some way about to collapse. He went under the house and took out the insulation and found leaking pipes.

Remember we had given up My wonderful fully loaded GMC dually truck and 40.4 foot RV with 5 slides and a back den for this house. I sacrificed them for this disaster Ron wanted. It was almost the end of our relationship.

Ron explained that the only way to save the home and the investment we had into it was to gut it totally. Only two walls showed no mold. Our back bedroom wall and the half wall in the livingroom. Everything else had to go, floor, walls, we would have to live in a huge mobile home shell as he rebuilt it.

So we did , He gutted the entire place. Gone was the card games we held. Gone was the dinners ron loved. Gone was socializing. The people we use to invite to our home and we to theirs soon stopped inviting us when we stopped asking them to our home. Ron felt betrayed. But still every day he did not have to be at work, with every dollar we earned, he fought to rebuild the house, all on his own as I was losing the ability to walk, and when not at work was in bed, struggling. He was getting desperate.

Then the doctors told him I had to stop. But I was driving myself as hard as I could and wouldn’t listen. Then the last year I worked I spent as much time in the hospital as I did work. They told ron if I wouldn’t quit they would be forced to commit me to save my life. I was so sick. I would work one day and then on the way home fall asleep, I would come into the house and stay in bed for the next day, raising only to go to work the third day. Ron was frantic, everything spinning out of his control. He made a choice. He told me one day to either accept I couldn’t work or he would ask our boss to fire me. I refused to stop, and so I got fired.

So here was Ron looking at rebuilding a home with a very ill lover and a loss of half the household income. Things came to a stop as he spent the money to get me back to living health.

Then as he worked overtime and odd jobs he got the money to put up walls and then floors. He built me the office I have now for my computers, game machines and my candle making equipment. He built a huge master bathroom and a second smaller one for guests. He put together a house as best he could. He is already planning to do the kitchen, moving a door and setting up a kitchen of my dreams, lengths of counters , big new appliances. He has already done so much.

You have to understand something. Ron is 61 going on 62 this next year. He has had a heart attack, a stroke, and he has M.S. I have all my problems but still try my best to help. How great it feels just to do the dishes sometimes.
Why this long story? Well I know how these things can hit you, how it hit us. But I also know how much love can overcome it. Don’t be angry, don’t despair, Heck if we can face this at our age, you young guys could do so much better than us.

Be well. Know I care. Best wish. Hugs

18 Comments »

  1. What a horror story. Irresponsible of the people that sold you your mobile in the condition it was….ASS..LES! When you get older the energy wanes with every year. I just bought my mobile home this year and had a month to do renos before moving in. There was water damage on some of the floors and luckily no mold. I bought as is but had a home inspection done. Not nearly the work superman Ron has done. Wow pats on the back for him to do all that work. It can get tiring as well for both of you living in disarray day in and day out. You have my support. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by thespiritkeepers — December 22, 2016 @ 22:05

    • I am sorry for what you are going through. We went five years with plywood floors, half formed walls. In the last two years Ron has managed to get all new wood flooring down,and all new sheetrock covered by paneling.

      How are you in the new home? You said no mold but a restrictive time on remods. Everything OK? Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — December 22, 2016 @ 22:17

      • Everything is fine. Wow five years! I put down wood flooring and replace two areas where there had been water damage to the floors. Painted from top to bottom. Ripped out shag rug lol in one room and the other room made the whole mobile smell, My real estate agent walked in and walked out. He could not stand the smell. There were two dogs and cages of birds and no clean up from what I was told. When I pulled up the rug in the living room the bottom of the rug was sticking to my gloves. It was gross. I had to wash everything from top to bottom. I managed to get the smell out in three days. New light fixtures, hardware on the cupboards. The outside porch got painted, pressure washed the exterior and landscaped a bit the property. Will do some more finishing details to the landscaping in the coming year. One curtain literally disintergrated into my hands. Now my friends want to move in with the color choices and my furniture, Finished the night before I moved in.

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by thespiritkeepers — December 22, 2016 @ 22:28

        • Sounds like a horrible job you manage to overcome. I love the idea that now you have it all cleaned up your friends want to now come help. 🙂 HUgs

          Liked by 1 person

          Comment by Scottie — December 22, 2016 @ 22:32

          • Yes that is always the way. It was a horrible job but not as near as what you both went through with the condition of your mobile.

            Liked by 1 person

            Comment by thespiritkeepers — December 22, 2016 @ 22:33

            • Well part of that was I was at death’s door and Ron had to fight that also. That is why he is so very protective of me now. But you do deserve credit for all you did. It is a grand achievement. Hugs

              Like

              Comment by Scottie — December 22, 2016 @ 22:39

    • I should also explain we never blamed the lady of the house as she couldn’t have known.. her husband… well he is now suffering from dementia. So maybe life has taking it own revenge. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — December 22, 2016 @ 22:29

  2. Wow! I can’t even imagine what you two went through. Those people who sold you their home are complete hypocrites. I’m always leery of anyone who professes so much. They will get theirs in the end, and it won’t be at the pearly gates.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by cornfedcontessa — December 22, 2016 @ 22:30

    • It is OK, Ron and I never wasted time worrying about them or asking if they really meant to screw us.. we know the man did by the traces of his handy work, but the lady was totally blameless and she was not the one who claimed the bible all the time. In fact she was not a believer and now the guy who sold us the house and was so sure of his savior is dep in dementia. So Ron and I find it is a wasted effort to blame anyone. Far better to work to fix it all. Just as I had to learn not to blame Ron for the loss of my truck and RV I loved. He was far more important than those material things, and when I was hovering between death and life, he was the one to step in and pull me back to the living side. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — December 22, 2016 @ 22:36

  3. Mold is no joke, my friend. Yep, I’ve been through that too. My youngest is eight and a half. He has severe allergy induced asthma. I blame it on the moldy apartment we lived in while in San Diego. Like most people, you don’t know about it at first. When I was pregnant with him I had asthma, something I did not have before, not even while carrying my oldest. By the time we found out what was making him so horribly sick and moved out, he was already eight and a half months old. That shit makes a person really sick. Grant it, it doesn’t help that we now live in one of the worst places for allergies in the US (western Tennessee). We don’t do pets and we don’t do carpeting because of his and my husband’s allergies. We’re all about meds for allergies, inhalers, doctor’s visits and a top of the line HVAC/air purification system. Still, he has some issues. We even had his tonsils and adenoids removed before he turned four.

    I admire you and Ron for pressing through all of that garbage. I understand how that can negatively affect any relationship. The blame, the sacrifices, the constant not knowing of what sickness you had nor why. Not knowing if more construction would collapse or more plumbing would explode. When it rains it does poor doesn’t it? I agree with the commenter above, I too am VERY leary of anyone who is constantly going on about their faith, god or morality. I even felt that way while I was a Pentecostal Zionist. Anyone who has to keep telling you how good he or she is can’t be trusted. That seller really did a number on you, I don’t blame you or Ron for that, we’ve all fallen prey to people like that. Still, I hate it that you boys went through that. And you’re right, age and health complicate those issues even more, especially when you’re not rolling in money and can’t give someone money to take care of it for you. I can understand your hopelessness at the time, I know what that’s like. I guess that’s why people annoy the shit out of me when they tell someone I care about to be more positive. You and Ron were still trying to be positive in that drudgery. You both kept your heads up and survived a monstrosity that would have destroyed even the best of the best relationships. Thanks for sharing this with us. I know it wasn’t easy, but I really do hope you all have no more serious plumbing problems, mold issues or any other home drama. A home should be welcoming, especially for the owners. I’m proud of you guys for sticking it out and cleaning up a big mess that you didn’t make, nor allow for, to begin with.

    BTW, for the first time ever, in over 12 years of marriage, we’re having a family over for Christmas! Well, the Friday before it. Still, it’s the same weekend. We have tried to have someone at our place during the holidays through most of our marriage. The only time we were “successful” in doing so before was when my parents visited us four years ago, the year we deconverted at Easter! They’re extreme fundamentalists and brought two of my grown sisters with them. Yeah, that’s a Christmas I try to forget. I got so much religious crap for Christmas that I found the whole episode triggering and depressing. So, this family that’s coming tomorrow night are our age and have kids our kids’ ages! We began correspondence back in October of last year. We just emailed each other a couple of times regarding the possibility of a secular assembly in the Memphis area. Since then I had two major surgeries, the man’s father became terminally I’ll and unfortunately, passed away. My phone also crapped out and I rarely check my Google mail. Earlier this month I saw that he emailed me this past August! We then started emailing and texting back and forth. His wife, hubs and I all met him for lunch recently. And they’re coming over tomorrow night! I’m excited. The kids and I have been working on getting over our ridiculously bad colds, hubs has been helping me with the housework and I’ve been baking like crazy. So, I’ve been seeing a secular trauma therapist for over half a year now and we’re embarking on a new friendship with a secular family. Looks like 2016 is trying hard to redeem itself. I’m sorry, I’ve hogged your blog again. I just had to tell somebody!

    Scottie, have a very merry Christmas. I hope you, Ron and all of the people that you two love, are in good health. And where things are not so great, I hope it gets better really soon. I hope for nothing but the very best for all that you do and all that affects you two in 2017. Know you’re not alone. I don’t know your email, but mine is on my gravatar if you ever want to reach me. I think it also comes up on your dashboard privately when I comment. I hope you have a great holiday weekend ahead. I wish you the very best for you, your loved ones and for your home.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Charity — December 23, 2016 @ 00:04

    • Thank you Charity. You are grand, and please write as much as you like, I love reading your notes. I am also excited about you having company. It makes things special when you can share them with others. Karma got the man who sold us the house… he developed bad dementia shortly after he did us so wrong. Not that I would wish anyone harm, and his poor wife who he was not all that kind to it seemed to me ( he always spoke of her like he owned her..called her my bride..instead of using her name. Often corrected her in front of people.) Sorry your family had that mold problem, as you said it is serious. That is why we had to gut the place to be able to fix it. Thanks again. Be well. Have a grand party. Hugs

      Like

      Comment by Scottie — December 23, 2016 @ 11:03


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