Scotties Toy Box

March 22, 2017

Today’s the day

Filed under: News — Scottie @ 06:54

Well today is the day.   My whole routine is shot.   I had to get up at the ungodly hour of 5 AM.  I have my disability hearing this morning at 8:30.  I have to be there by 8 AM.  I had a bad week to start with.  I had a major flash back this week.  My own fault sort of.  I was looking for things on YouTube to watch and saw the title of a movie called “for my brother”.   The blur simply said a brother gives his all to protect his younger brother.  I thought great a feel good movie about love.  I was so wrong.  It was about an abused boy who from 7 to 17 had to put up with horrific sexual abuse to save his younger brother from have to do it.  I went over the edge for hours, kept losing time.  I wont bore you with all I went through, ROn came home and knew something was wrong, he figured it out quick.  He did what he could, but it put me on edge so bad that yesterday I lost it again.  Went in to full blown panic attack.  Ron had to give me extra of my own meds and then the meds they told him to give me what I get in a state like this.  That med works, but it makes me like a zombie.   It really stops the panic and the vortex that takes over my mind , but for a few days I am stupified it seems.  SO today I am dressed up nice and ready to go to my hearing.  ROn keeps telling me not to worry, it wont matter.  He says if it happens OK it will be easier for us, if not we will make it.   OK got to go.  I will post how it goes when I get back.  Hugs


  1. Best of luck to you

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Cory Melancon — March 22, 2017 @ 11:40

  2. Good luck, my friend, you’re in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by inspiredbythedivine1 — March 22, 2017 @ 13:11

    • Thank you. It took about two hours. I was going out of my mind in pain. Hard to sit in hard wooden chairs for any length of time. I think it went well. The vocationally guy said no to all the judges questions about me working theoretical jobs. Will see. Found out what the problem was. My job title says one thing, the filled out from said another, and the limits I have to be under stated another. So they were like what job did I have and what job was I supposed to be judged against. Interesting. A matter that could have been cleared up three years ago if anyone asked, but no one did. They just read the forms and followed them without questioning. Weird. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — March 22, 2017 @ 13:17

      • Wooden chairs are UNBEARABLE to me. I’m so sorry you had to sit in them and had to be up at 5!!!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by bethanyk — March 23, 2017 @ 12:21

        • Thank you. The good news is everyone seems to think I got it. The vocational guy told the judge there were jobs available even for reduced skill levels from what I did ( the standard I guess they have to work from ) but that I couldn’t do them. One I was ruled out just because of sick days. I would be out more than an employer would tolerate. Thank you for caring, you are a very nice person. As everyone is different what other things are hard for you, like for me trying to walk with a cane in a grocery store gets very painful, and my back wont tolerate standing at the stove to try to cook eggs. Just a few of the things that build the pain up in me. Oh low anything I try to sit on causes horrible pain, Ron raised our bed for me so I can get in and out easier. Be well. Hugs


          Comment by Scottie — March 23, 2017 @ 13:34

  3. I know. It’s an arduous, tedious process and painful to go through. Sounds like it went well. Trump wants to get rid of disability altogether because, according to his bright mind, no one associates disability with social security. What a fuck wad. Now I’m worried sick about it. God, but do I hate this guy. Let me know when you learn the result.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by inspiredbythedivine1 — March 22, 2017 @ 13:22

  4. Glad things went more or less OK. They all follow their instructions and notes, but do they realise that we are human beings with feelings and intelligence?
    They only discovered my MS this year, although I have probably dragging it around with me for the past 30-40 years without it being examined. My specialist laughed when I asked about now being a qualified invalid. I get my state pension, and there is nothing more in it when you are already 70 years old. If I was a working woman it would probably be a little different, but I cannot have it all.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by angloswiss — March 22, 2017 @ 13:28

    • Thank you. Yes the judge was very nice and even let me break with protocol because I needed to keep standing up to relieve the pressure. Once the discrepancy between what my job title claimed I had to be able to do, what my evaluation form said my job was, and what my doctor listed my job as with the limitations they wanted me on the vocational people dropped their objection and told the judge I couldn’t do or be hired for the three scenarios he gave them. So I should know in weeks, to two months. I won’t relax until I get the letter. Hugs

      Liked by 2 people

      Comment by Scottie — March 22, 2017 @ 13:37

  5. Read the comments so I’m up to date. Love you, and you will come out on top, as you have since Ron has been at your side.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by heretherebespiders — March 22, 2017 @ 19:31

    • Thank you. I know it will be OK. I had to stand so bad, and it showed the judge I simply couldn’t sit for any length of time. But I am relieved. Be well. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — March 22, 2017 @ 19:34

  6. Oh Scottie, just what you didn’t need at that point. I really hope it all went well and however it went, at least it’s over, I know how much these assessments take out of people, it’s incredibly hard. Big hugs from esme and Rosie x

    – esme hugging Scottie lots upon the Cloud

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Esme upon the Cloud — March 22, 2017 @ 19:33

    • Thank you. I do feel relieved. Ron says he feels it is going to be approved. Hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — March 22, 2017 @ 19:35

      • That’s great! Wonderfully positive, give Ron a hug from esme too, whether he likes it or not. Hahahaha

        – esme the hugster upon the Cloud

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by Esme upon the Cloud — March 22, 2017 @ 19:36

        • I will, hugging is something we do often. It sure can change a tough day a warm hugs can. Hugs


          Comment by Scottie — March 22, 2017 @ 19:38

  7. Just read through your replies, Scottie. I am relieved that Ron thinks it’s going to be approved. . I’m sure it was an arduous procedure. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Carmen — March 23, 2017 @ 07:39

    • Thank you Carmen. I am greatly relieved it is over. Now I can move ahead and address several issues. Be well. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — March 23, 2017 @ 07:54

  8. I am so so sorry you had flashbacks and panic attacks. So glad you have Ron that knows what to do and what you need. But just going through that and feeling that is a true nightmare. Stupid movies you know, I actually was set up to watch one and decided I would read the entire synopsis which ruined the movie but I’m glad i did bc it would have been terribly triggering. Lately I’ve been asking others to tell there any of this or that. I watched a KID movie tangled and THAT got me all upset. A stinking kid movie. It’s being taken off guard I think and the boom of what happens in the brain and body with a flashback that is awful. Anyway, thinking of you! Hoping you have a restful day now.


    Comment by bethanyk — March 23, 2017 @ 12:25

    • Thank you Bethany for understanding. You say it so well. Some people don’t really get how hard it hits, and the damage it does. You tell people it is like living it again, you feel the emotions and feelings amplified. Your mind goes into panic or a vortex as I call it. But that is hard for people to understand because their memories don’t do that to them, which I understand.

      I had a really nice reader named Chris from England who was an author. He sent me a copy of one of his books. Lucky for me James was bored and read it before I could get to it. HE hid the book in his room. One day I remembered it and asked him. He was adamant I couldn’t read it, it would be horrible for me. Turns out it was about long term child abuse. Wow. I have to be careful with movies also, and kids movies can be the worst as youy say. The Harry Potter movies give me a problem. Because of the way he is treated by his aunt and uncle. I can’t deal and skip over that part of the movies. Thanks again. Be well. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — March 23, 2017 @ 13:28

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