Scotties Toy Box

February 18, 2018

Is he?

Filed under: Atheism, Creator, Funny Stuff, My Life and Rants, opinion, Questions, Religion — Scottie @ 15:04

Just heard a good one on a video.  In the beginning of the bible before he made anyone to hear him, god is talking to someone.   IS he talking to himself?  Is he may be Schizophrenic?  Could explain a lot.  Hugs

10 Comments »

  1. Love it. Oh, he was talking to his talking snake, Bubba. Hell, did you think Satan was the ONLY talking snake God made?

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by inspiredbythedivine1 — February 18, 2018 @ 15:23

    • You are a hoot , thanks. Hugs

      Liked by 2 people

      Comment by Scottie — February 18, 2018 @ 15:25

    • Or maybe he was discussing the budget with Asherah, his wife. You know, creating humans and animals and bugs and trees and the sun and the stars and … etc…. that takes a lot of bucks!

      Liked by 2 people

      Comment by Nan — February 18, 2018 @ 16:23

      • Wow, God had a wife ??? I am so clueless about this stuff. Grand. Maybe his son was gay after all. I could wish so. Hugs

        Liked by 2 people

        Comment by Scottie — February 18, 2018 @ 16:26

  2. Maybe he’s doing a Bob Dole and always talking about himself in the third person.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by jim- — February 18, 2018 @ 16:00

  3. What I always found interesting was that the first 5 books of the Bible have been attributed to Moses. Now if Moses wrote all of those (including Genesis) how did he know everything that happened “in the beginning?” If God hadn’t created anything yet, how’d Moses write it all down? He wasn’t alive yet. No one was. Hmm…strange. When did God reveal all of this to him? On Mount Sinai perhaps? I can only imagine the conversation between Moses and God if that was the case.

    Moses: “C’mon God, stop stalling. Just give me the two tablets and let me go back. There are a lot of people waiting down there. I don’t want to disappoint them. I mean, look at them, bowing down to a golden calf. Idiots. I think we’ve let them wait too long. What if they get suspicious?”

    God:”Now Moses, be patient. This is gold here. I mean none of it make sense, but we’ve got billions of people just gullible enough to buy it!”

    Moses: “Won’t they know it’s not real? Won’t historians in the future be able to pick the whole thing apart? I mean, won’t science prove that we made it all made up?”

    God: Science? *laughs loudly* They don’t know about science yet! Just look at those morons down there! It’ll be thousands of years before we need to worry about that. They’ll believe anything we tell them. Oh and don’t forget to write about your own death and burial in Deuteronomy. They’ll go nuts trying to figure out how you knew all of the details about those things and then wrote them down….I crack myself up.”

    Moses: “How can I write about my own death? I’ll be dead.” * under breath: “moron” *

    God: “I’m going to let you in on a secret about this book we’re putting together. It’s too funny. ready? Someone else will write your story and just put your name on it. If anyone asks, we’ll just say the authors were inspired by me. In fact, we’ll just have random anonymous authors write the whole damn thing and then just add important people’s names to the stories so people will trust them as fact. No one can argue with that, right?” *laughs* “Idiots indeed Moses. Idiots indeed. Pretty funny, huh?”

    Moses: “Nice one. You’re hilarious.” *rolls eyes*

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by Ben S. — February 21, 2018 @ 22:30

    • Hello Ben. I am surprised ( and happy ) to learn more historians and biblical scholars are now agreeing the first five books of the bible are made up. Moses never existed. Isn’t it weird that for thousands of years people worshiped a book that had made up people and events and they thought it was the word of god. Will we be worshiping Harry Potter a thousand years from now? Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — February 22, 2018 @ 08:04

    • HA! I like your version. Much more authentic. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      Comment by Nan — February 22, 2018 @ 14:01

  4. At least my version is somewhat believable. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Ben — February 22, 2018 @ 14:03


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