Scotties Toy Box

April 6, 2019

I can see why it gives them comfort

Filed under: Atheism, My Life and Rants, Questions, Religion — Scottie @ 15:41

So Ron and I went to a funeral this morning.   In our park so many of the people are elderly and sadly we lose some every year.   We went to the funeral of a friend which was held in a church.   I can see why religion could give some people comfort in times like these.  I lost count of how many time it was said the deceased was in heaven now and not really gone, or some version of that which also included “with her loved ones”.   I know it was over 24 times before I just gave up counting.   I sat or stood quietly during the prayers and Ron said I was note on during the hymns, but I noticed the elderly people in bad health really got into repeating and talking about how their departed friend was in heaven, how she was with Jesus, how she waiting for them, how she was now happy, and she was again healthy.  Oh she was so happy in heaven, the Preacher even said at first he was angry she was in heaven and he was still stuck here.   I dang near yelled out” We can fix that”, but held my tongue. These people did not care about the facts, or that there was no evidence of either a soul or heaven.  They did not care about conflicts in the texts or the fact  that parts were made up or borrowed from other religions.   I doubt these people knew most of the bible, other than a few good platitudes.   They simply want to affirm to each other that they knew they wouldn’t really die or be dead.  They would just shift from having a body to being a happy healthy spirit remembering everything they knew in life when they had their body, loving and able to have all the joys they had before.   It was not a worship service as much as a we don’t want to give up all we like and want to be healthy again service.   I felt bad for them.   They seemed almost desperate in holding to that idea, but I doubt if I had asked if anyone of them could have told me what they thought really would be going on in heaven, what they would be doing, if they would still eat and drink, have sex, coo over grand kids.  It was just a way of saying we can keep what we have going forever.  Hugs


  1. Part of what’s happening, Scottie, is they are reassuring themselves that when they die, there is “heaven” awaiting them.

    None of wants to die … and to believe in fairy tales of “another life” without pain and sorrow helps many face the ultimate end. In other words, the platitudes of the preacher/pastor/priest is actually more for the sake of the still living than it is about the deceased.

    And actually, it this was the only time that “religion” was discussed, I think many of us would cut them some slack. However …

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Nan — April 6, 2019 @ 16:02

    • Hello Nan. Well said. I agree. Oh, any new news on Ark and family? Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 16:03

      • Probably no more than you know … they don’t have internet. Other than that, everyone seems to be OK.

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by Nan — April 6, 2019 @ 16:04

        • Thank you Nan. I am trying hard to catch up on blogs I have missed the last three days. I am at Jill’s blog right now. Hugs


          Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 16:06

  2. It’s a tough world and sometimes it just comes down to what gets you through your ups and downs. There’s always room for empathy and support. On the other hand thumb sucking may be comforting but at some point it just stiming and pathological at its root.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by nationofnope — April 6, 2019 @ 16:28

    • Hello Nation. I agree. Looking at their faces, and thinking they were so fragile looking, I can see why they want that comfort. To me it is a lie I cannot accept. But maybe it is what gets them through another day. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 16:57

  3. Interesting observation, I like that you actually tried counting! It is really weird that we consider we have civilised and educated societies but cling furiously to comforting superstitions – that with all our acquired knowledge we struggle to process death and accept any nonsense to avoid reality is odd to say the least.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by violetwisp — April 6, 2019 @ 16:49

    • Hello Violetwisp. Old habits die hard? Many people I know who do not accept the bible still feel they will live on somehow. It seems really hard for some people to accept that there is an end to us. I will die one day and all I am as a person will be gone, all that will be left is a body. I wont be, know, feel, have, do , see, I will simply not be. I accept that and I don’t fear it. Hubby on the other hand thinks our spirits are going out to the universe and be together after we die. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 16:55

  4. “We can fix that!” I have the same problem Scottie, things like that jump into my head at the worst possible times. It is a curse 🙂

    …and I so dread those moments where I have to go to a wake and listen to all of the heaven crap. It is like overhearing kindergarten kids on the playground talk about the imaginary monsters/pirates/bad guys they are chasing. Intriguing for a moment, then you just really don’t want to hear any more of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by shelldigger — April 6, 2019 @ 18:02

    • Hello Shelldigger. I agree. We went to pay our respects to our friend, but as I sat there totally distracted I realized it made no difference to our friend and really was only a show for all of us who knew each other and knew her. I got so bored I was day dreaming and looking around. I wondered what I was really doing there. I did not believe in what was being said. I did not believe our friend was watching or could hear our remembrances of her. But for some reason it was important to be there. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 18:10

      • I go, I pay my respects when I know it is my responsibility to do so. Besides the obvious grief we must endure, why in hell do they have to pile on the hokey B.S. ?

        I’ve told the wife, no wake at the funeral home for me. They charge a helluva lot of $ for the room, and I don’t want any preacher crap.

        Nope. Send me off for cremation, and when the ashes get back have a wake at home with a damn keg of beer and some good whiskey about. So my friends can have a drink on me, and share their reasons for being there.

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by shelldigger — April 7, 2019 @ 08:07

  5. OMG Scottie. I laughed out loud when I got to the “We can fix that!”.

    smh. I know exactly what you mean – we’ve been to several funerals lately, too. At least around here when I looked around during prayers, there were many people looking straight ahead, like us. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Carmen — April 6, 2019 @ 18:13

    • Hello Carmen. I am glad you got a chuckle. I am just glad I did not blurt something out. Ron would have been mortified. I did notice something interesting. Not one guy was wearing a suit. Ron and I had thought about getting our suits out, and then decided on some really nice work clothes instead. Everyone was dressed sort of causal, and the assistant to the Pastor had on shorts. The only one who wore a tie was the Pastor and he was wearing a button down shirt and jeans. A lot of the ladies came in “Red Hat” attire as our friend was big in that group. Not your typical funeral in that respect. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 18:18

  6. I guess I am a bit cynical about grieving. Certainly it is not nice to lose a loved one, but we can’t feel sorry for the dead. They are gone and we morn because we feel sorry for ourselves. “Oh, what am I going to do, it is such a lose for me.?” It is sad that the dead will never see another tomorrow, but that is what life and death are all about. GROG

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by grogalot — April 6, 2019 @ 20:20

    • Hello Grog. I agree. Funerals are for the living, the dead do not care. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — April 6, 2019 @ 20:43

  7. Work affords constant glimpses into rituals of death. If it makes you feel any better (open casket ritual Catholic services aside), personal experience assures you religious services pale in comparison to simple celebrations of life. Just as couples choose to be married by a justice of the peace, families seem to be choosing private burials/cremation followed by informal gatherings of family/friends. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Notes To Ponder — April 7, 2019 @ 02:43

    • Hello Notes. I would prefer that my self. I have no interest in a funeral service. I told Ron to have me cremated in the least expensive manner possible and dispose of the ashes any way he sees fit. I told him to see if our veterinarian would do it as they do our pets when needed. I wont care what is done. I will be dead. It is really what ever makes Ron happy if he out lives me. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 7, 2019 @ 06:17

  8. I had these same kind of thoughts at my father’s funeral Mass back in September but I also thought that it was all a load of bollocks.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by silverapplequeen — April 7, 2019 @ 05:24

    • Hello SAQ. Yet there are people who get comfort from the words even if they have little clue what they mean or where they really come from. Hugs


      Comment by Scottie — April 7, 2019 @ 06:22

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