Scotties Toy Box

April 15, 2019

A dad’s letter to the IRS

Filed under: News — Scottie @ 18:29

Oh wow, I can only add: Can I send my two cats with them also? The thin one thinks he is a rottweiler and also the boss of all. He tends to take over any counter and thinks human food belongs on the floor, especially eggs. The large one ( 26 pounds but we have been told not to body shame him ) is terrified of everything. Only recently with great coaxing can we get him off of the ceiling when a toilet is flushed in the house. He has an amazing ability to defy gravity while sinking all his claws deep in your skin for traction as he flees his own shadow. You can have both of them for a reasonable amount off our trash pick up fee as they make most of the trash. They not only have their litter boxes ( need two as they fight over just one, seems they are proud of where they pee ) but their sharp claws reduce the best furniture to shredded embarrassments quickly. You should get set up in the local thrift shops as that is where we now get most of our temporary furniture. The terrible two love this as it gives them new smells as they destroy our meager income and attempts to have a normal home. I wish you the best as when you take them as we will have our first vacation in the eternity they have owned us. Be warned , they remember they were worshiped in old Egypt and they think that is how it should be today. Sort of like Evangelicals. Hugs

bluebird of bitterness

(This letter, written by Bob Mullen, first appeared in Chicken Soup for the Parent’s Soul, published in 1990.]

Dear Sirs:

I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my Federal Tax return. All I have to say is, thank you. I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It’s only fair, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, that the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours!

The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people’s questions about their returns. While she has no formal training…

View original post 734 more words

2 Comments »

  1. Scottie — that writeup of yours was OUTSTANDING!! Excellento! Super, super good! IOW, I ❤❤❤ it!

    Not sure why you included the “letter” when your own post was so good.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Nan — April 15, 2019 @ 20:08

    • Thank you Nan. I felt the other was far better than my own contribution. Hugs

      Like

      Comment by Scottie — April 15, 2019 @ 20:59


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