Scotties Toy Box

October 17, 2019

I am in fricken pain… it is my life

Filed under: Family, Health, Love, My Life and Rants — Scottie @ 19:56

Today is the third day this week I had a doctors appointment, I have another tomorrow.  That one I am looking forward to as it is trigger point injections which are very painful but may may give me some relief from my pain in my back.  My back muscles spasm so bad they make my spine shift  which with the damage to my spine causes the nerves that run in my spine to sent signals  to contract the muscle or send a signal of sudden sharp pain.  No cause or reason for the pain.  It is just the nerves in my spine.  

Let me tell you my day.  I got up late for me, I got up at 4:45AM. I normally get out of bed between 3:30 to 5 AM due to pain.    I felt that it was good for me to sleep that late.  I did not suffer much during the night from muscle contractions caused by my spine on my nerves. 

So skipping the early morning routine of petting cats, feeding cats, doing morning blogging, and going right into my getting to my 10 AM allergy injections, then waiting the needed 20 + minutes to be let go.  

Off I go to the grocery store.  See Ron is on his third day in a row of 12 hour shifts at the open heart ICU.  He got home this morning barely able to walk.   He had to do another 12 hour shift tonight.   Feeling bad for him I offered to make him a home made spaghetti dinner with the fixings.    He loved the idea.  Shit, OK I can do this.  

After my shots, I went to the Publix just down from my home.  I love the store.  It does not have much on sale but it does have wide isles, bright lighting, very helpful staff , again wonderfully helpful staff who take care of an old cripple like me, and I know where most of the stuff I want is and if not the staff will take you to it.  They do not just say oh that is on isle ##, they take you to it.  If you are at the register and need something, they send someone to get it.  A great store.   Today as I was checking out the manager was bagging my groceries and even offered to take them to my car for me.  On days when I was really bad they even loaded them into the car for me.

I went in to get just the stuff I needed to make a spaghetti dinner for Ron.   I did not have time to make home made rolls so I would need to buy some, I choose the bake at home kind.  I need the other stuff like a pound of ground Italian sausage, a pound of lean ground beef, my favorite tomato sauce Dei Fratelli.   I also got some chopped tri-peppers and white onions.  I use to add chopped celery and sliced white mushrooms both which I like, but Ron has taken a dislike to, so I skip them.  

Any way got the groceries, and I get home.  I left home at 9:15 AM, it is now 1:30 PM and I can barely lift anything the pain in my back is so bad.  Lucky for me Ron who was sleeping heard the alarm system go from “Alarmed home” to “disarmed” which I do from the car on my phone.  He got up and carried all the groceries in, thankfully as I was about done in.  

Ron went back to bed, and at about 3 PM I got to work making the sauce.  I got the rest set up and then I rested at my desk for a while.  Then at 4:30 I kicked it in to high gear, getting the angel hair pasta Ron likes boiled, the sauce heated back up and doing the last seasonings, baking the rolls, making him his coffee, just basically getting the best meal together for him I could.  I was already dying in pain.  I had taken all my pain  / muscle medications and I was really in pain.  Ron loved the supper, and even helped me pick stuff up before he went for his shower before going to work. 

I was trying to hide it from him but I could barely stand.  The pain was so bad I couldn’t hardly stand or move.   After Ron went for his shower I put stuff away as best I could, but I was really struggling to do so.  Before he went left for work Ron realized how bad I was and said he would take care of the rest in the morning and then knowing I wouldn’t stop until it was cleaned up, he finished loading the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen. 

So now at 7PM with almost no time today to read blogs and comment, I am again at my desk.  Milo is sleeping next to me, I have taken a bunch of pain pills along with my other medications.   I will have to go to bed in a hour or so , that is the limited time I have to read news, get to the wonderful blogs I love, and leave comments or answer them.  

Be well everyone.  I just though you might like to know what one of my days are like.  I would love to be able to spend each day reading news, reading blogs, and leaving comments on them.  Sadly most of my days are not like that.  Most days my back hurts so bad I can not even sit in the fancy office chair Ron got me.  So often I have to post news from my pad as I am not able to be at my computers.  Or I am at a doctor’s office so again I can not be at my computers.  But hey I have it better than most in the US, I have good healthcare at a price that is hefty but we can afford for now.  I have a good home to live in, I have food to eat, and a wonderful hubby that thinks I am the best thing in the world ( boy is he fooled )

But I can hardly sit in the chair to write this, I am all over the place leaning one way then the other trying to get the pain out of my back.  Moving back and forth rocking like a kid needing to go to the bathroom, I am even on my second vodka drink and it still hurts to even breath.  I will have to go lay down soon.   It is my life and I understand that.  But it really interferes with my blogging.  😃😀😎  Hugs


  1. 😢☹️😞

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by Nan — October 17, 2019 @ 20:49

    • Hello Nan. I am grateful for what I have. Many do not have it as well as I do. Also what is wrong with me can not kill me, just make me miserable. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — October 18, 2019 @ 04:50

  2. I am so sorry. I’m new to your blog until recently, other than the occasional visit I’d make from MPS, and I didn’t really know more than what’s on your sidebar. I hate that someone with a spirit as beautiful as yours has to suffer, and I hope that a resolution will come soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    Comment by ali redford — October 17, 2019 @ 22:41

    • Hello Ali. Thank you , that is a grand complement. My bone and muscle damage is a life long problem that will only get worse as I get older. It can not kill me which I am grateful for, but it does impact my ability to do much and it does cause me a lot of pain. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have good insurance through my husband’s work, plus I have medicare. I have great doctors and they understand my needs very well. I can afford my medications. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of things for me. I have a good home to live in, food to eat, and wonderful people such as your self to share things with. Be well. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Scottie — October 18, 2019 @ 04:59

  3. Awful.

    Liked by 3 people

    Comment by john zande — October 18, 2019 @ 04:34

    • Hello John. The pain can be overwhelming some times and my heath limits my abilities, but all in all I am lucky. I have access to great doctors, I have medications, I have food, I have a home, I have a wonderful husband who doesn’t mind doing all the things around a home I can not do. I see people all the time not as well off as I am. Hugs

      Liked by 2 people

      Comment by Scottie — October 18, 2019 @ 05:05

      • I so admire your stance on life! There are SO MANY who suffer FAR LESS than you and yet they mumble and complain and repeatedly whine about “poor me.” In fact, there are healthy people who can’t (refuse to?) see the good in their lives.

        As the religious might say … ‘you’re a blessing.’ 😉

        Liked by 3 people

        Comment by Nan — October 18, 2019 @ 12:07

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