Something that has not happened in a long while

Ron had gone to the bedroom for a nap. I was up reading the story in the Atlantic that I posted. I got so discouraged, I went to bed my self. Ron said I was not in the bed 30 seconds when I let out a loud “Oh”. He said then I started kicking and thrashing in the bed, something I have not done in a long time. I use to do it reliving my abuse. I still dream of my abusers almost nightly, but don’t react or live out the abuse in my dreams after all these years. Ron hates that they haunt me, and as he believes in magic / the supernatural use to do cleaning spells to keep them away. Wish in one hand and … He said when it started he realized what was happening and tired to talk to me. When I was not responding he got out of bed, the best thing he could do unless I started to yell or scream. This whole tRump / election thing is getting to me. tRump thugs remind me of the people who abused me, his thugs are so like them. Nothing matters to them except their own pleasure, their own wants. They have no care for others, no decency or fair play, for them it is their own gratification that matters above all else. My abusers would be huge tRump supporters. When I got up Ron tried to get me to eat, but I have no hunger at all. Hey I will be OK, I have my kittens here with me, Milo on the desk, and Odie on the hot tub. I have a wonderful office with lots of windows. I have a great computer / TV / game system setup. I have a great and wonderful husband who loves me. What more could a person want. This too shall pass. 😢😨 Hugs

14 thoughts on “Something that has not happened in a long while

  • I think the elevated level of stress we’re all under has affected out dreams because I’ve been having some vivid ones as well. Nothing at all like what you suffer from, but I can see how it would make a bad situation worse. Just remember one thing, Scottie, you are powerful now, you are fighting back, not just for your own sake but for all decent people everywhere. Take heart. -hugs-

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree! While my dreaming hasn’t been nightmarish, it has often been disturbing. I have found I just simply have to focus on other things every so often or all the stuff will get to me.

      Scottie, take a break. I know it’s hard but for your health AND sanity, you must! We’ll still be here whenever you come back.

      Liked by 3 people

      • You too? Thanks, Nan, ‘disturbing’ is exactly what some of my dreams have been like. The most recent one made me wake up, heart pounding with anger of all things.

        Like you, I’ve had to step back from Twitter because the constant anger got to be too much.

        I agree with Nan, Scottie. Step back a little so your body can regain its equilibrium. We’re in a marathon and the end is still a long way off.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Hello Nan. I think you are correct. Ron is saying the same thing. We have plenty of movies I haven’t watched, more than a dozen different online shows I am way behind on. As soon as I get the blog theme squared away I am thinking of playing Halo on the Xbox or one of my other games. I am just really tired today, maybe I will go back to bed. Hugs


    • Hello Meeka. This situation with our election is destresting. We are watching the cumulation of four years of the tRump administrations law breaking. I am watching the destruction of our democracy by not just tRump but the thugs and gangs that support him. 1/3 of the people in our country are willingly giving up their rights and our democracy to be part of the tRump cult. Hugs

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      • I know. It’s scary just watching what’s happening from the other side of the world. But try to distance yourself, just a little. You won’t help anyone if you get seriously sick. -big hugs-

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            • Hello Meeka. The show is about a future where Mars and earth are at odds, and suddenly a situation with a extra solar threat happens and they have to learn to work together to save everyone and one small crew of 4 people keep saving the human race from extinction. There is a lot more to it than that , but if you like adventure, science, spaceships, and political intrigue, it is a good show. Yes this weekend I have forced myself to switch off from him… I dumped my computers. Best way to keep from my news sites is being too busy to go to them. But I also admit I miss knowing.

              Something I mentioned on my blog a few times, my adoptive parents never had much education, and while the mother was very smart and got her GED, the father brute was great with trade stuff but barely able to read and hated schooling. I was forbidden to have books at home even school books. The adoptive father felt I was not manly enough , too girly, and so tried to force me to his view of what a man should be even though I was a very small fragile kid. So I had to literally sneak an education and have always valued any learning or chance to learn. As a kid the town librarian use to keep my books behind her desk for me because I couldn’t take them home. There are things I will never understand because I never learned a back ground foundation for, but I never stop trying to learn new stuff, science, geology, history, all of it. Meeka that is what pisses me off about the current situation in the US. So many people refusing to learn, refusing to admit science is real. They have the opportunity to educate themselves and they refuse to do so. I will never forgive that , never understand their lack of wanting to know, to be willing to reason. Hugs

              Liked by 2 people

              • -hugs back- You’re one of the exceptions, Scottie. I used to teach high school, and I can tell you that many teenagers with every opportunity under the sun simply aren’t interested in learning. They get the barest minimum of an education, despite all those advantages.
                The enquiring mind is what every teacher hopes for. I know exactly why the librarian helped you. And in return, I believe you gave that librarian the joy of knowing he or she gave you a leg up in the world of the mind.
                I don’t know why so many people refuse the knowledge that’s offered to them. I think it’s easier to let others do the thinking for them – priests, preachers, snakeoil salesmen. Or maybe they want the validation without putting in any of the effort.
                There’s a very old saying about how ‘you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’. People are a lot like horses.
                But /some/ people reach for the stars. Don’t ever forget that. 🙂

                Liked by 2 people

  • I haven’t gotten decent sleep in three days now, and end up with eye twitches because too much caffeine and not enough sleep. I’ve been anxious and nauseous in turns lately, and today it culminated in a huge headache. I can’t think right and draw a blank every time I try to come up with writing ideas or even to clear my to-do list. I’ll be turning in early tonight to try and compensate, and read something lighthearted or one of my history mags or something. After this year, I find articles from “America in WW2” to be almost pleasant in comparison.

    Tylenol and me are going to be friends, that’s for sure. Be well, folks, because we’re gonna need our strength for the days/weeks/months ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Chatty Introvert. Get some rest, and be careful with Tylenol. When I worked in the ICU we had a lot of people come in with liver damage due to taking it. Enjoy your reading. Hugs


  • I agree with all the above. It’ll be OK. Or, you could dedicate a day to, say, foods you and Ron and the kitties create. Another day to all jokes, and another day to fine arts. Etc. Or, just take a staycation, and we’ll all still be here whenever you peek in. We love you, and as the Chatty Introvert says, we’re gonna need our strength.

    Liked by 1 person

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