Scotties Toy Box

January 10, 2019

Barfing from banactee

Filed under: Art, Cartoons, Fascism, Funny Stuff, Memes, News, Political — Scottie @ 21:29

October 13, 2018

Hot spots

Filed under: Art, My Life and Rants, News, Pictures, Things I like — Scottie @ 17:06

September 2, 2018

The Bridge Tongues

Filed under: Art, Funny Stuff, Funny videos, Stories, Things I like — Scottie @ 16:03

May 20, 2017

Charming and elegant

Filed under: Art, People I like, Stories, Things I like — Scottie @ 13:58

Charming and elegant

Being a working poet can take you into strange places. I’ve given poetry readings in some of the roughest bars in Port Naain as their proprietors sought respectability, increased trade, or merely a drop in the number of apparently aimless, drink fuelled, killings.

Yet I’ve also performed in some of the finest houses in the city and so can count as friends both the most cultured ladies and the thugs with the most battered faces. As you can imagine, whilst I might have my own opinions, it is not my role to act as judge. I have found both kindness and treachery in both high and low places.

Hence over the years the people I tend to treasure are those who have proved themselves to be genuinely decent human beings. By this I don’t just mean that they are kind to their poet, (which is indeed a trait to be encouraged). It’s when you go into a big house and notice that the servants are happy, that the younger maids are not trying to be invisible, and elderly staff who have been with the family a long time are still living in.

Similarly you’ll meet the scarred ruffian who the street children adore, and who cannot walk down a street without the older inhabitants stopping him for a chat.

These are people to be cherished when you find them. They are less common that you’d hope but there are more of them out there than cynicism would suggest. I’d mention the case of Mistress Darnel to illustrate what I mean.

Mistress was an elegant lady, tall with that sort of figure that is so often described as ‘boyish’. I don’t remember when she arrived at Port Naain.

Apparently she was born here, moved out to her family estates to nurse an elderly relative, and after their death moved back to the city. Given the length of time she was away she had to re-establish her circle of acquaintance.

She wasn’t a formal patron of mine, although I was asked to perform at her residence. It was one of the happy households; you could tell that the staff had a genuine affection for their mistress.

After performing there a couple of times I realised that it wasn’t merely the staff who were fond of her. She had a small circle of close friends including a couple of gentlemen admirers whom remained on good terms with her even after they married somebody else. But what really struck me was that there were also a changing group of young men and women who were part of her circle for a while. Falas Buttot the painter was virtually one of her household and one evening over a glass or two, the topic of Mistress Darnel came up in conversation. According to Falas, for a lot of young people, she was the adult they went to for advice over problems they didn’t feel they could burden their parents with.

Indeed occasionally I was drawn into the nets she wove. On several occasions I was asked to privately critique poetry. More than one young poet owes their career to her support and my occasional appraisals. More importantly, thanks to the tact of Mistress Darnel and my heroic efforts, poetry has been spared the attentions of any number of cloth-eared individuals who had no grasp of rhyme, rhythm, or even what certain of the words they were using meant.

I well remember when Mistress Darnel had her accident. It was one of those stupid things, she was walking down Lame Pauper’s Ginnel and further up the Ginnel some fool knocked over a pile of barrels. One of them, bounding down the steep hill, struck Mistress Darnel with some force. Her companion, a Mistress Virisia was luckily unhurt. She saw her friend’s broken body sprawled across the cobbles and immediately got help. Mistress Darnel was carried home on a door and doctors were summoned. Obviously nothing could be done that might delay medical examination; her clothes were removed with a knife.

Now as fate would have it, whilst this was happening I was at the house of my grandest patron, Mistress Bellin Hanchkillian. A fine lady of the old school, a pillar of Port Naain, indeed her family owned a fair chunk of it.

I was half way through my delivery when a middle aged lady carrying more weight than she should burst in and nearly collapsed at my feet. This is unusual enough to put me off my delivery.

The woman looked up at my patron and announced, “Mistress Darnel has had an accident and is now a man.”

My first thought was that it was one hell of an accident! I think others had the same thought. Finally after she got her breath back our informant elucidated.

“Mistress Darnel was stuck by a barrel. When the doctors stripped her to see what her injuries were they discovered she was a man who had been passing herself off as a woman.”

Mistress Hanchkillian could see the heads put together as people started to talk about this. She slowly stood up and immediately everybody fell silent.

Nobody wanted to miss her words of judgement.

“Pah, there are too many in this city attempting to pass themselves off as decent human beings.” Then she turned to me. “Master Steelyard, pray have my Sedan chair brought to the front door. I wish to call upon Mistress Darnel.”

I left at speed and by the time Mistress had arrived at her door, the Sedan chair and bearers were waiting. Two other ladies of some note were intent on accompanying her so there was a further wait as their chairs were called.

Finally with the three chairs ready Mistress Bellin leaned out of her window. “Pray accompany us Master Steelyard; one never knows when one might need a poet.”

It took perhaps half an hour for us to cover the distance to Mistress Darnel’s house. When we arrived, it was the housekeeper herself who admitted us. She looked suspiciously red-eyed and through a half closed door I caught a glimpse of a maid who was still weeping. We were shown into a bedroom where the victim lay propped up on pillows. She had recovered consciousness but looked distinctly pale and I suspected that she was in a lot of pain.

Mistress Virisia was still with her. She stood at the head of the bed next to her friend, as tense as if she were preparing to defend her.

Mistress Bellin never hesitated. She walked over to the bed, leaned down and kissed Mistress Darnel on the cheek.

“My dear girl, you really ought to take better care of yourself. How are you?”

The other two ladies also stepped forward and added their own gentle queries.

I saw Virisia relax, and she and I got chairs to allow the other three guests to sit around the bed. After half an hour they left, fearing to overtax the patient. As she stood up Mistress Bellin promised to visit again and insisted that when she was strong enough Mistress Darnel would dine with her. As I handed her into her Sedan chair, Mistress Bellin give me a brief smile.

“Thank you Tallis. I have no doubt that you have other things to do.”

Indeed I did, sometimes a poet is merely a witness, but a witness must testify.

 

 

It may be that you might not realise that Tallis Steelyard has just produced his second book of stories and anecdotes. This is book, ‘Tallis Steelyard, a harsh winter, and other stories,’ is available from the first of June.

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071LH1THB

 

 

Were Tallis less busy he’d doubtless remember to thank me, Jim Webster, for the efforts I make on his behalf. But you know what it is with someone like Tallis who is constantly in demand. So I just get on with writing his stuff down for him and from time to time making collections of his wit, wisdom and jumbled musings available for a grateful public.

 

Tallis does have a blog, it is apparently de rigueur now for all writers. It is available at

 

https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com/

 

Riding in on his coattails I’ll merely mention that my own books can be seen at Jim Webster’s Amazon page https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jim-Webster/e/B009UT450I/

March 27, 2016

Elf Child Photo by arch who said I could post this wonderful picture.    Thank you.  Note the shadow please. Hugs

Filed under: Art, Love, Magic, People I like, Pictures — Scottie @ 19:50

Explore Archae Opteryx’s photos on Photobucket.

Source: Elf Child Photo by archaeopteryx1 | Photobucket

elfchild

March 20, 2016

Brainpickings

Filed under: Art, Pictures, Places, Things I like — Scottie @ 21:59

Incredible photos and pictures. Enjoy. Hugs

October 19, 2015

Haiku – Halloween ruckus

Filed under: Art, Poems — Scottie @ 20:07

  Halloween ruckus   Graveyard Ghouls Causing Halloween ruckus Digging their own graves      

Source: Haiku – Halloween ruckus

October 14, 2015

Never seen anything like this at Halloween

Filed under: Art — Scottie @ 14:08

           

Source: Never seen anything like this at Halloween

very thought provoking pictures. NSFW !!! Hugs

September 10, 2015

some people really are special. Thanks

Filed under: Art, Children, Ideas, Love — Scottie @ 21:08

From The Crayon Initiative website:

“The wax from crayons is not biodegradable and will never break down, leaving a waxy sludge in our landfills for centuries to come. The Crayon Initiative supports environmental efforts by diverting crayons from the landfills.”“Annually, between 45,000 and 75,000 pounds of broken crayons are discarded in landfills throughout the country. By collecting unwanted crayons from restaurants, schools, as well as other locations, and recycling them into new ones, The Crayon Initiative is doing our part to prevent crayons from depositing in the landfill." Here’s how you can help out by spreading the word or collecting crayons from schools and restaurants in your town.Source

August 10, 2015

A fairy tale castle built from construction debris | MNN – Mother Nature Network

Filed under: Art, History, Ideas, News, Pictures — Scottie @ 11:48

A fairy tale castle built from construction debris | MNN – Mother Nature Network.

The pictures are fantastic, and the idea is grand.  Hugs

July 28, 2015

Something to write home about

Filed under: Art, Health, Love, Magic, Pictures — Scottie @ 19:00

Something to write home about.

The first picture made my night.  I was getting so upset over what I was hearing on my other computer on news channels, and on blogs about hurt, harm , and hate…and then I landed here.   Oh how my spirit soared on just seeing the first picture.  The rest were a great things also, but that first one was a bed for the tired, a drenching of water in a parched landscape, an uplifting for the mind tired of being bogged down.   Thank you for posting these, I really need them.  Hugs

nice guy, he understands it seems

Filed under: Art, Economics — Scottie @ 10:50

Stephen King sells the rights to some of his short stories for $1 so that film students can use them to make movies. He calls them his ‘Dollar Babies.’  Source

July 26, 2015

How do they do it

Filed under: Art, Youth — Scottie @ 13:58

Again some one tell me how the young can keep long hair out of their eyes, while I at my old age am trying to grow very long hair , and find it a constant problem.  It has to be held back at eating time as it falls into my food, my mouth and other embarrassing things if I don’t use things to hold it back.  It looks no where as cute on me as it does this kid.  I find I have to take extra time washing it, and conditioning it, you have no idea how painful long hair snarls are.  Plus there is it getting snagged on clothes, or messing up my glasses as it falls over them once in a while.  Then after all that , I see some long haired kid and think..gods how can they make it look so good.  Hugs

such piercing eyes…wow

Filed under: Art — Scottie @ 13:28

July 25, 2015

Twinky Winky III

Filed under: Art, Pictures, Places — Scottie @ 12:45

Twinky Winky III.

I have mentioned before the wonderful, incredible pictures on this site.  Here is an example or two.  Hugs

ikwt:

Vermilion Lake

(Victor Porof) | ikwt

 

July 7, 2015

Incendiary Illusions I really liked this poem. Hugs

Filed under: Art, Poems — Scottie @ 17:55

Incendiary Illusions.

180a9ucewgxirjpg

 

June 28, 2015

Adhesive Love

Filed under: Art, Love, Magic — Scottie @ 09:51

Adhesive Love.

Oscar is a wordsmith of the highest order.  I so love this one.   He describes love and life with love in such a convincing and grand way.   Hugs

February 28, 2015

10 Leonard Nimoy quotes that inspired us to boldly go

Filed under: Art — Scottie @ 11:07

I was forbidden to watch star trek as a child.  My step father let me watch only news and sports, and as a little kid I hated both.  I have since learned the value of news.  I never knew why that restriction was on me as it was not on my siblings.   I often got to watch snippets of the show and I fell in love with Spock.  First if I could be Spock I wouldn’t feel the pain that I felt every day.   I wouldn’t feel the fear I felt when bad things started to happen.  I wouldn’t cry when someone came in to my bedroom at night to hurt me.  If I could be Spock I could be strong enough to stop others from taking what little I had and enjoyed.  I was not Spock.  But as I grew up and moved on with life I watched everything with him in it I could.  I bought the entire Star Trek TV shows and movies with Spock in them.  I learned a deeper feeling of peace with what I thought the ideals of the Vulcan were.  I think that refuge in my mind was very helpful for me.   Thank you Leonard Nimoy, for portraying such a being that helped and inspired one thing.  

10 Leonard Nimoy quotes that inspired us to boldly go.

February 9, 2015

Artist Recycles Old Hubcaps Into Stunning Animal Sculptures | Bored Panda

Filed under: Art — Scottie @ 14:48

Artist Recycles Old Hubcaps Into Stunning Animal Sculptures | Bored Panda.

Cool art work sent to me by Randy.   Thanks Bro

January 26, 2015

Ow, my brain hurts. – FunSubstance.com

Filed under: Art, Funny Stuff — Scottie @ 18:55

Ow, my brain hurts. – FunSubstance.com.

Randy sent me these.  I loved them and showed them to Ron.  Strangely Ron and I both found the same ones the most enjoyable and interesting.   I hope you like them also.  Hugs

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