Scotties Toy Box

February 25, 2017

Abandoned at 17 – new beginning for an elderly cat – YouTube

Filed under: Animals, Dealing With Abuse, Love, Magic — Scottie @ 11:45

A story we all should hear.   We had a similar situation with our wonderful Purr only he was only about 14.  He also took time to come around and when he did he was so loving, always wanting to be on your lap or lay with you.  He purred like a diesel truck.  Hugs

February 9, 2017

To do or not to do

Before I start my day of reading blogs and answering emails, I wish to address an issue that has me somewhat confused.  On several blogs I follow there has been a running discussion about the progressive left and the regressive left.   I did not realize this was a major topic of discussion as I assumed the left was simply the party that wanted the best things for people.  Yes I knew there was some disagreement on how to pay for the many programs the people on the left felt were needed, however I did not realize how big a divide the issues have become.

I started noticing this about the time the white supremacist Spencer was punched in the face.  The debate was on if the people on the political left should punch people they did not like in the face.  I figured this was so simple a question that no one would need a second guess.   However there was an outcry with the different sides throwing out terms like SJW and SNOWFLAKE with the occasional NAZI.  Now I did not realize how much division the sjw and snowflake labels caused.   I have to admit I am some what hazy on just what is a social justice warrior and I have no desire to needlessly harm others if they are in a sensitive or hurt possition.   I care about people.   Now I will address snowflake more in a minute.

I once was accused of being a sjw and I felt honored.  I did not know the term and it took some people I really trust to inform me that the term was not used as a complement but an insult.  I wondered why?  I thought fighting for others who were maybe disadvantaged and unable to stand up for themselves was an  honorable thing.  The term brought to my mind some hero trying to make things better, defending the weak and protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves.  I guess others felt my idea was simplistic and wrong.

I guess the way people use the term SJW is someone tilting at windmills and creating a problem where one doesn’t exist.  I am still not sure as to what a sjw really is.  I get the feeling others think sjws inject themselves into areas that they are not needed or wanted, finding a problem where none exist.  It seems to comes with the idea that sjws are trying to force a version of restrictive social rules on to everyone even if the others around them don’t wish the restrictions.   That seems to me the opposite of what a social justice warrior should be. If this is what is meant then they need to pick a better term to use.   They are social rules dictator  or socially repressive enforcers.  I still have issues with the meanings of these things.  I still feel I am what I term a fighter for others and someone who works for and wants a better social structure.

Now the term snowflake is harder for me.  I feel in some ways snowflakes have two different categories.   The term some people use is a person who is spoiled and want the world to accommodate them unfairly.  A person who is unreasonable about insisting only their view of the world is allowed.   The other version is a person who is harmed, fragile, needing help, suffering from a past event.  I think of snowflakes as the second group.  I think of snowflakes as bunnies in a world of bigger predators who will hurt them and they have no defence.   I would defend those in the second group.  Let me explain why.  As some people know I am a survivor of long time abuse.  Sexual, physical, emotional.  I prefer not to talk about it, I hid it for most of my life until I couldn’t hide it anymore.  I am only now learning how to confront it and still dislike talking about it.  But if you go back in time on my blog you will find that years ago a psychologist treated me for issues surrounding the abuse , how it was affect my daily life and how I was dealing with it.  The psychologist concluded I was a bunny in temperament.      In his view I was not able to defend myself and needed others to do that for me.  It was weird because I was quite able to defend others and I had no problem using force to protect those who needed protecting.   However I never once asked the world to change for me.  I never asked for things that triggered me to be taken off the web, banned from the social environment or taken off any media.  I have talked before about things that trigger me, a video or show about child abuse will send me into a  really bad place where I have to deal with the memories that never seem to quite go away.  I have started to read books and been triggered into deep depressions and emotional vortex that try to destroy me.  Here is an example.  When I first started to read the Harry Potter books I had a horrible time with the beginnings of most of the books.  It was triggering to have a small boy unable to defend himself treated that way.  Even now it is very upsetting to me.  I can’t watch those parts of the movies.  I forced myself on first reading the books to quickly get through those pages while making sure to be in a safe space and to have outs around me.  I can not reread those pages now that I know what is there and I can’t watch those parts of movies.    However I do not expect the books or movies to be changed to take those parts out.  I do not want the rest of the world who feel this adds to the richness of the story to have to lose that just for me.  In this case the good of the one is not more important than the good of the many.  I have a problem, I can find ways to deal with it and I have.   I hope I have explained well enough what I mean by snowflake and how I do think we should help people with real problems while asking people who simply want the world to accommodate only them to please let the world live their lives also.   If not please tell me and I will try to reword it.  Thanks.

I would like to step back and address one thing at this time.   There has been much talk of trigger warnings.  I think they are both a good thing for some people while at the same time I think they should not be required or mandated.  Here is my reasoning.   It is nice for me to know if a story I am about to read or watch will show sexual or physical abuse.  I can take actions from preparing myself to see it, deal with it, or to avoid the material all together.   However just because you get a warning it doesn’t mean you have real understanding of what will be shown or described.  Plus if you miss the warning it won’t do you any good anyway.  For an example my son had starting to watch a show on the TV.  I came into the living room and decided to watch it with him.  He never thought it out and I did not know what was coming.  The program showed in graphic detail the rape and sexual abuse of a child.  They just splashed it out on screen.  My son realized I was in the room and tried to get the thing off the TV.  He was too late.  I was freaking out.  I had a heck of a time after.  But a lot of people would freak with that type of material thrown at them while they are unprepared.  It was what the show people wanted for a response.   I just get more affected than others who were not abused would.  A warning wouldn’t have done me any good nor did my son know that would be in the show to warn me.  So I think these trigger warnings have a place in our society but I don’t think they should be mandatory nor depended on to solve all triggering problems.

Let me sum this long post up by returning to what we started with, the punching of some one based on their ideas.  I wouldn’t think this needed debate.  The answer is no, you shouldn’t ever punch or use violence against someone for their thoughts or positions.   No matter how much you disagree or think what they are endorsing is disgusting as long as it is an idea and not an action you can not, you should not, use force on another person.  Yes white supremacist and fascist ideas are repugnant, but as long as they are simply ideas and not actions then no you can’t punch them.   Here is why.  If I can punch someone or hurt someone who has ideas I dislike and think horrible, that gives others who think what I believe and do is horrible and they dislike it, to punch me.   IF a white nationalist can be punched for being that, then they can punch gay or non-white people as they think the same things about them.  It simply lets violence loose on everyone and ends all attempts to move the society to a more progressive place.  Also it forces others to defend the ones who got punched and I hate to have to defend a racist bigot.

Thank you.  Hugs

October 25, 2016

Candles, shelves, love, and happiness.

Filed under: Dealing With Abuse, Family, Health, Ideas, Love, Magic, My Life and Rants — Scottie @ 10:43

Hello everyone.  A grand lady and wonderful friend gave me some great advice yesterday.   I was getting upset and Here There be spiders said I should write an uplifting post.   It was the perfect advice.

So when I lost the ability to work I was in a very depressed state and headed for a break down.   My body was failing badly, and I was in a lot of pain.   I couldn’t handle the memories of my childhood.   I was battered by feelings of the past I simply couldn’t handle.  I was to the point where I did not even want to get out of bed, I was not eating, I was not functioning.  Again the doctors were telling Ron that if things did not improve physically I would have to go into the hospital.

Ron wanted to give me something I could do as I wanted.   Something fun yet easy enough not to tax me in both body and mind.   He was looking for something to pull me out of the sink hole I was in.   He came up with the idea of me making candles.   We like candles, we enjoy them, and both Ron and I think they help focus the mind.   We feel they can set a mood, help you meditate or other tasks.   Our Wicca friends were telling us that “Candle Magic” was very powerful and positive.

So Ron set up a candle making station in our bedroom.   Everything I was doing at that time was in our bedroom.  I simply did not want to leave it.  My desk and computers were there.    I was even eating in the bedroom when I would eat.   Ron got the cabinet with the drawer and storage in it set up.   He got me a hot plate.  He ran electrical lines and bought me some molds and wax.  He even cut the ten pound block of wax into smaller pieces for me.  I started making candles.

I have a great friend in the Carolina’s who sent me molds and gave me ideas.   That was so grand, as I needed molds and I had never made candles before.   So I made candles.  I made lots of candles.  I made Jar candles, I made big  14 – 16 inch candles and I made little one inch ones.  I rigged up my own molds out of ones designed to make soap.   I just kept making candles.    It was one of the things helping me, lifting me out of the state I was in.   So Ron kept me making candles.   We used some, gave a bunch away to everyone.  Took 60 different kinds in to my pain doctors office and gave them to the staff.   We filled boxes and every spare shelf space we had with them.   I never realized how many candles I had made.   I am on my third hot plate.

When Ron and James build my office Ron designed it to have room for all my candle making stuff.  This weekend Ron put shelves up for my candles and stuff.   I spent the last three days putting stuff up on the shelves.  I emptied boxes of candles.  I still have more candles in storage to put up on the shelves, including some of the nicest jar candles I made.   So for my uplifting post I want to share with you all the pictures I took this morning of my stuff so far.   Now the pots wont stay on the shelves but I just shoved a bunch of stuff in the cabinet when we moved everything, and have yet to clean it out.  So with great pleasure I present to you the pictures.   I thank everyone for sharing their lives with me, and I am grateful to be able to share some of my life with you.  Many happy hugs.

Click on the pictures to make them full size.   Hugs

September 2, 2016

“Religious Freedom” Law Lets Mom Beat Child With Wire Hanger Hook – YouTube

Filed under: Children, Dealing With Abuse, Harm, News, Political, Questions, Religion — Scottie @ 13:21

September 1, 2016

Son had 36 bruises; mom quoted Bible as defense

Filed under: Children, Criminal, Dealing With Abuse, Harm, Health, News, Questions, Religion, Sad — Scottie @ 13:49

I have often opposed these religious freedom laws that let parents neglect, starve, harm,  refuse medical treatment, and in some even kill their children all in the name of their religion.  I have mentioned that had these laws been around when I was growing up the ones who abused me could have used them.  They wouldn’t have been forced to move three times in six months and keep me out of school for those months.  They could have proudly stood their ground and said they were beating me senseless to save my soul.   I feel so angry for those children suffering because of a caregiver’s delusion that they will get into heaven. I read one “parent” say that they did not mind their young son dying when they refused to get him medical care because they knew he was in heaven with their god.   A state politician said that  government had no right to interfere with a parent’s right to insure that their children go to heaven even if it brings harm to the child as that was god’s will.  Sick.   Hugs

Indiana woman cites the state’s religious freedom law as defense in felony child abuse case.

Source: Son had 36 bruises; mom quoted Bible as defense

excerpts below:

Two days later, a teacher patted the boy on the back and saw him flinch, according to court records. The teacher saw red welts on the boy and reported the observations to police and child welfare officials.

A doctor at Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health found 36 bruises across the boy’s back, thigh and left arm. Three photographs submitted to the court show deep purple lines striping the boy’s back and several welts on his arm. The boy has one curved bruise on his cheek in the shape of a hook on a coat hanger.

A doctor counted 36 bruises on Kin Park Thaing's 7-year-old

In 2008, the Indiana Supreme Court ruled 3-1 to overturn the felony conviction of Sophia Willis, who used a belt or an electrical cord to discipline her 11-year-old son. (The mom said belt, the son said cord; the court ruled it did not matter.)

The justices in that decision gave parents wide latitude in determining what is reasonable discipline for their children. Hitting kids with a belt or an electrical cord is not much different from using a coat hanger, said Jennifer Drobac, professor at the Indiana University Robert H. McKinney School of Law, who has taught the Willis decision in classes on juvenile law.

August 23, 2016

Come Home (Cardinal Pell) by Tim Minchin (with lyrics) – YouTube

Filed under: Children, Dealing With Abuse, Harm, Health, Sad — Scottie @ 19:10

I can’t stop crying even after I heard this song many times.  It seems to never go away.   Even on the good days it is there and at night it comes unexpected and you spend a night without sleeping, again.    Ron just came in and before I could turn all the way away from him, grabbed me and turned me around demanding to know why I was crying.  All I could stammer was “that song” while pointing at my screen.   He was at a loss as to what to say.   It is hard for them, those who love us.   For my friends, I won’t name you, but you know who you are who suffer also.   Many hugs.

August 14, 2016

13-year-old Danny Fitzpatrick kills self, describes being bullied in emotional note – CBS News

Filed under: Children, Dealing With Abuse, Harm, News, Questions, Religion — Scottie @ 10:19

In handwritten note, Staten Island teen says he was mercilessly bullied and his school didn’t do anything

Source: 13-year-old Danny Fitzpatrick kills self, describes being bullied in emotional note – CBS News

Randy sent this to me and I am glad he did, we all should understand this!   Such heartbreak!   The breaking heart, torn and worn emotions, grief , anger, deep sadness, and yes due to the lack of help an insurmountable feeling of hopelessness this child must have felt.   The heartbreak of his father and mother will feel every second of their lives from now on, the loss and the questions.  Why did no one help?   The heartbreak of what friends he did have, even those who cared but couldn’t risk showing it for their own fear of becoming the target.   One last group who should feel heartbreak, but I wonder if they do.  The teachers he went to begging for help and the boys who bullied him daily and made his life a misery not worth living anymore.   When will some people understand?  Bullying is not a rite of passage to manhood.   It is not something that toughens boys into men.  It doesn’t make the ones doing it stronger or more manly and it sure doesn’t make the victim of it weak.   It is an insidious infection that rots the mind, body, and spirit of everyone, those who are the the victims, those who do it, those who allow it to go on unchecked, and those who read about the suffering and loss.   I wonder if the teachers did not intervene because it was a religious school and they were trying to get the boy to act in a different way.  If so they should ask themselves if the deity they worship supports the torture of children.  If so, they should seriously think of leaving that religion, for it surely is not holy.  Sad hugs 

July 31, 2016

Manning faces possible charges after attempted suicide – News from Al Jazeera

Filed under: Dealing With Abuse, Harm, News, Political, Questions — Scottie @ 15:27

Whistleblower Chelsea Manning could face “indefinite solitary confinement” for a suicide attempt, her lawyers say.

Source: Manning faces possible charges after attempted suicide – News from Al Jazeera

This is again an attempt to break her, punish her, and to harass her.  I think she is a hero for letting the public know the criminal acts of our government.   However because she embarrassed the government they are going to every length to destroy her totally.  I would be in a massive depression in her case.   I would also try suicide if possible.   To punish her further when  she was reaching out for help again shows the government is only interested in harming her and making sure the people know what will happen to them if they do as she did.  I think it is well known what solitary confinement does to a person, and to do that to someone already suffering from depression is a horrible abuse.   Is there no one with authority or power who will champion her on humanitarian grounds.   Please!   Hugs 

June 29, 2016

Stop the Hate: 49 Celebrities Honor 49 Victims of Orlando Tragedy in Ryan Murphy-Produced Tribute – YouTube

May 2, 2016

Who they should be concerned with.

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