Scotties Toy Box

March 25, 2019

Jeannie C. Riley – Harper Valley PTA

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:16

 

“Harper Valley P.T.A.”

I want to tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play
She said, “Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A.”

The note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high
It’s reported you’ve been drinking and a-runnin’ ’round with men and going wild
And we don’t believe you ought to be bringing up your little girl this way”
It was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A. was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I still recall the words she had to say
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A.”

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there and seven times he’s asked me for a date
Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he’s away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down?

Well, Mr. Harper couldn’t be here ’cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath, you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin
Then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I’m not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites

No I wouldn’t put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.

 

March 24, 2019

Jimmy Buffett – Margaritaville

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 04:42

 

“Margaritaville”

Nibblin’ on sponge cake
Watchin’ the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strummin’ my six string on my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp
They’re beginnin’ to boil

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
But I know it’s nobody’s fault

Don’t know the reason
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo
But it’s a real beauty
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven’t a clue

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
Now I think, – hell it could be my fault

I blew out my flip flop
Stepped on a pop top
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home
But there’s booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
But I know, it’s my own damn fault
Yes, and some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
And I know it’s my own damn fault

 

March 23, 2019

Peter Paul & Mary – Puff The Magic Dragon

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:48

I originally posted this one on Sept 12 2015, but wanted to post it again.   Hugs

 

“Puff, The Magic Dragon”

Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff

Oh, Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali
Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali

Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff’s gigantic tail
Noble kings and princes would bow whene’er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name

Oh, Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali
Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant’s rings make way for other toys
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So Puff, that mighty dragon, sadly slipped into his cave

Oh, Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali
Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali

 

Peter, Paul and Mary – Blowing in the Wind

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:45

I posted this in September 12 2015 and thought it would be nice to hear again.  Hugs

 

“Blowin’ In The Wind”
(originally by Bob Dylan)

How many roads must a man walk down
Before they call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
How many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many years must a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea?
How many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
How many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn’t see?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
How many deaths will it take ’til he knows
That too many people have died?

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

 

March 22, 2019

I Am a Rock – Simon & Garfunkel

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:35

 

“I Am A Rock”

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen, silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island

I’ve built walls
A fortress, steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock
I am an island

Don’t talk of love
Well, I’ve heard the words before
It’s sleeping in my memory
And I won’t disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved, I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

March 21, 2019

Men at Work – Land Down Under

Filed under: Music and Videos, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:50

 

“Down Under”

Travelling in a fried-out Kombi
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said:

“Do you come from a land down under
Where women glow and men plunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder
You better run, you better take cover.”

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscle
I said, “Do you speak-a my language?”
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich
And he said:

“I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder
You better run, you better take cover.” (yeah)

Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, “Are you trying to tempt me?
Because I come from the land of plenty.”
And he said:

“Oh! Do you come from a land down under (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder
You better run, you better take cover.”

 

March 20, 2019

If You’re Gonna Play In Texas

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:59

 

“If You’re Gonna Play In Texas (You Gotta Have A Fiddle In The Band)”

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band
That lead guitar is hot but not for “Louisiana Man”
So rosin up that bow for “Faded Love” and let’s all dance
If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band

I remember down in Houston we were puttin’ on a show
When a cowboy in the back stood up and yelled, “Cotton-Eyed Joe”!
He said, “We love what you’re doin’, boys don’t get us wrong
There’s just somethin’ missin’ in your song”

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band
That lead guitar is hot but not for “Louisiana Man”
So rosin up that bow for “Faded Love” and let’s all dance
If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band

So we dusted off our boots and put our cowboy hats on straight
Them Texans raised the roof when Jeff opened up his case
You say y’all all wanna two-step
You say ya wanna doe-si-doe
Well, here’s your fiddlin’ song before we go

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band
That lead guitar is hot but not for “Louisiana Man”
So rosin up that bow for “Faded Love” and let’s all dance
If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band

If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band
That lead guitar is hot but not for “Louisiana Man”
So rosin up that bow for “Faded Love” and let’s all dance
If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band

 

Mel McDaniel – Louisiana Saturday Night

Filed under: Music and Videos, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:55

 

“Louisiana Saturday Night”

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow
Kick off your shoes and you throw ’em on the floor
Dance in the kitchen till the mornin’ light
Louisiana Saturday night

A-waiting in the front yard sitting on a log
A single shot rifle and a one eyed dog
Yonder come my kinfolk, in the moonlight
Louisiana Saturday night

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow
Kick off your shoes and you throw ’em on the floor
Dance in the kitchen till the mornin’ light
Louisiana Saturday night

My brother Bill and my other brother Jack
Belly full of beer and a possum in a sack
Fifteen kids in the front porch light
Louisana Saturday night

When your kinfolk leave and the kids get fed
Me and my woman gonna slip off to bed
Have a little fun when we turn out the lights
Louisiana Saturday night

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow
Kick off your shoes and you throw ’em on the floor
Dance in the kitchen till the mornin’ light
Louisiana Saturday night

Yeah, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow
Kick off your shoes and you throw ’em on the floor
Dance in the kitchen till the mornin’ light
Louisiana Saturday night

Get down the fiddle and you get down the bow
Kick off your shoes and you throw ’em on the floor
Dance in the kitchen till the mornin’ light
Louisiana Saturday night

March 19, 2019

DON WILLIAMS – Amanda 1974

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:37

 

“Amanda”

I’ve held it all inward
Lord knows I’ve tried
It’s an awful awakenin’
In a country boy’s life
To look in the mirror
In total surprise
At the hair on your shoulders
And the age in your eyes

Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife
Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife

Well the measure of people
Don’t understand
The pleasures of life
In a hillbilly band
I got my first guitar
When I was fourteen
Now I’m crowding thirty
And still wearin’ jeans

Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife
Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife

Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife
Amanda light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentle man’s wife

March 18, 2019

Ghost Riders In The Sky Marty Robbins

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:33

 

“Ghost Riders In The Sky”

An old cowpoke went ridin’ out one dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed cows he saw
Plowin’ through the ragged skies, and up a cloudy draw

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Ghost herd in the sky

Their horns were black and shiny and their hoofs were made of steel
Their brands were still on fire and their hot breath he could feel
A bolt of fear shot through him as they thundered through the sky
for He saw the riders commin’ hard, and he heard their mournful cry

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Ghost riders in the sky

Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred,
Their shirts all soaked with sweat.
They’re ridin’ hard to catch that herd, but they aint caught ’em yet’
‘Cause they got ride forever on that range up in the sky,
On horses snorting fire, as they ride on, hear their cry.

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Ghost riders in the sky

As the riders loped on by him, he heard one call his name
If you wanta to save your soul from hell aridin’ on our range,
Then cowboy change your ways today, or with us you will ride,
Tryin’ to catch the devil’s herd, across these endless skies

Yippie-I-ay, yippie-I-o
Ghost riders in the sky
Ghost riders in the sky

 

Big Iron- Marty Robbins

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:21

 

“Big Iron”

To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him didn’t have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

It was early in the morning when he rode into the town
He came riding from the south side slowly lookin’ all around
He’s an outlaw loose and running came the whisper from each lip
And he’s here to do some business with the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red
Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead
He was vicious and a killer though a youth of twenty four
And the notches on his pistol numbered one an nineteen more
One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talking made it plain to folks around
Was an Arizona ranger wouldn’t be too long in town
He came here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead
And he said it didn’t matter he was after Texas Red
After Texas Red

Wasn’t long before the story was relayed to Texas Red
But the outlaw didn’t worry men that tried before were dead
Twenty men had tried to take him twenty men had made a slip
Twenty one would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

The morning passed so quickly it was time for them to meet
It was twenty past eleven when they walked out in the street
Folks were watching from the windows every-body held their breath
They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death
About to meet his death

There was forty feet between them when they stopped to make their play
And the swiftness of the ranger is still talked about today
Texas Red had not cleared leather fore a bullet fairly ripped
And the ranger’s aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round
There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground
Oh he might have went on living but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

Big iron Big iron

When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

 

March 17, 2019

Let It Be (Remastered 2015)

Filed under: Music and Videos, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:34

“Let It Be”
(“Let It Be” Version)

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer
Let it be

For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow
Let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

March 16, 2019

Bobby Goldsboro – Honey

Filed under: Love, Music and Videos, Music Video, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:18

BOBBY GOLDSBORO
“Honey”
(Bobby Russel)

See the tree, how big it’s grown
But friend it hasn’t been too long
It wasn’t big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn’t die
Came runnin’ in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin’ late
‘Cause I would know
That she’d been sittin’ there and cryin’
Over some sad and silly late, late show

And honey, I miss you
And I’m bein’ good
And I’d love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I’d be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin’ needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away

And honey, I miss you
And I’m bein’ good
And I’d love to be with you
If only I could

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life’s an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved

And see the tree how big it’s grown
But friend it hasn’t been too long
It wasn’t big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig

 

March 15, 2019

Bread – Everything I own

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:58

 

“Everything I Own”

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

And I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love
What it’s of, what it’s of
You never said too much
But still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can’t let go

And I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

Is there someone you know
You’re loving them so
But taking them all for granted
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don’t hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again
Just to touch you once again

 

March 14, 2019

Everybody’s Talkin’ – Nilsson (With lyrics on screen)

Filed under: Music and Videos, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:33

Suggested by Randy.    

 

“Everybody’s Talkin'”
(originally by Fred Neil)

Everybody’s talking at me
I don’t hear a word they’re saying
Only the echoes of my mind

People stopping, staring
I can’t see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes

I’m going where the sun keeps shining
Through the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes

Banking off of the northeast winds
Sailing on a summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone

Wah, wah wah-wah wah
Wah-wah wah-wah, wah wah-wah
Wahhh

I’m going where the sun keeps shining
Through the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes

Banking off of the northeast winds
Sailing on a summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone

Everybody’s talking at me
Can’t hear a word they’re saying
Only the echoes of my mind

I won’t let you leave my love behind
No, I won’t let you leave
Wah, wah
I won’t let you leave my love behind

 

March 13, 2019

Don Henley Dirty Laundry HD Live

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 05:53

 

“Dirty Laundry”

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something
Something I can use
People love it when you lose
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor
But I wound up here
I just have to look good
I don’t have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down

Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em all around

We got the bubble headed
Bleached blonde
Comes on at five
She can tell you ’bout the plane crash
With a gleam in her eye
It’s interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation
Is the head dead yet
You know the boys in the newsroom
Got a running bet
Get the widow on the set
We need dirty laundry

[Instrumental Interlude]

You don’t really need to find out
What’s going on
You don’t really want to know
Just how far it’s gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down

Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re stiff
Kick ’em all around

(Kick ’em when they’re up)
(Kick ’em when they’re down)
(Kick ’em when they’re up)
(Kick ’em when they’re down)

(Kick ’em when they’re up)
(Kick ’em when they’re down)
(Kick ’em when they’re stiff)
(Kick ’em all around)

Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers
In everybody’s pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do the Innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done
We haven’t told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry

March 12, 2019

Maggie’s Dream Don Williams

Filed under: Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:20

 

“Maggie’s Dream”

Maggie’s up each morning at four a.m.
By five at the counter at the diner
Her trucker friends out on the road will soon be stoppin’ in
As the lights go on at Cafe Carolina.

Maggie’s been a waitress here most all her life
Thirty years of coffee cups and sore feet
The mountains around Ashville
She’s never seen the other side
Closer now to fifty than to forty.

Maggie’s never had a love
She said she’s never had enough
Time to let a man into her life
Aw, but Maggie has a dream
She’s had since she was seventeen
To find a husband and be a wife.

[Instrumental]

Maggie knows the truckers most by first name
What they’ll have to say and what they’ll order
And they take her in their stories to places far away
And leave her with the dishes, dreams and quarters.

Maggie’s never had a love
She said she’s never had enough
Time to let a man into her life
Aw, but Maggie has a dream
She’s had since she was seventeen
To find a husband and be a wife.

And she relies upon the jukebox on the lonely afternoon
When the business starts to slow down
She plays the saddest tunes
And she stares off down the highway
And she wonders where it goes
Nobody to go home to
And it’s almost time to close…

 

March 10, 2019

John Lennon – Imagine

Filed under: Music and Videos, Music Video, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 07:59

 

“Imagine”
(from “Imagine: John Lennon” soundtrack)

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today… Aha-ah…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

 

March 9, 2019

CW McCall CJ5 with a 4 wheel drive

Filed under: Funny Stuff, Music and Videos, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:55

One more, smiles for everyone.  Hugs

 

(Bill Fries, Chip Davis)

We is screamin’ through the valley
Where the Nishnabotna flows
Through the mud and crud and cornfields
Where the mari-ju-wana grows
‘Cross the railroad tracks of Persia
Down the hills and up the dale
Had a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail.

Well, he picked me up at exit 12
On the I-six-eighty ramp
I was doin’ 67 per
When I rumbled through his trap
He commenced to whirl his flashin’ lights
And he made his siren wail
I slipped on down to four-wheel drive
With Smokey on my tail

Now I got racin’ stripes and dual pipes
And Smokey’s got a Ford
Got a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But Smokey’s stroked and bored
Well, the chase was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that’ll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail

Yeah, he was.

Well, I dropped on down to granny low
And I made a hard right turn
My big ol’ fat Commando tires
Went slashin’ through the corn
Well, the tassels blew
And the kernels flew
And it looked like yella hail
Just cookin’ alive in a four-wheel drive
With Smokey on my tail

Well, we went screamin’ through the valley
Where the Nishnabotna flows
Through the mud and crud and cornfields
Where the mari-ju-wana grows
‘Cross the railroad tracks of Persia
[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/c-w-mccall/wolf-creek-pass/four-wheel-drive.html]
Up the hills and down the dales
My CJ-5 with four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail.

[Imagine a series of comic-style thought balloons.]

Look out, now. Here he come.

Oh, we gonna get it on now.

(Don’t hit that fella with the banjo.)

We gonna swim this here creek now, Smokey. [Pronounced “crick”, of course.]

Yard wide and a foot deep.

“Nishnabota River”, they call it.

Might haveta winch out.

Gonna do a wheelie on that there gopher mound now, Smokey.

Can you dig it, Smokey?

Got four on the floor and four in the air on that one, didn’t we?

Goodness gracious. ‘Bout ta bust my shocks.

[Back to our regularly-scheduled rhyming. Add the sound of wailing sirens.]

Well, that Jeep of mine made Smokey whine
His rig was made of lead
He was mired in fourteen feet of mud
So he radioed ahead
I pulled up onto the blacktop
Went crashin’ on through the rail
Sakes alive! I had twenty-five more
Smokeys on my tail!

Now I had racin’ stripes and dual pipes
And Smokey had a Ford
Had a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But Smokey’s stroked and bored
Well, the race was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that’ll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
Settin’ out back a’ the jail

C.W. McCall – Wolf Creek Pass

Filed under: Funny Stuff, Music and Videos, News, Song, Songs and Music — Scottie @ 06:50

Needed something funny, hope you enjoy.  Hugs

 

Me an Earl was haulin’ chickens
ona Flat bed outta’ Wiggins
And we ‘as spent all night
on the uphill side
of 37 miles o’ hell
called Wolf Creek Pass… Which is up on the Great Divide.
We was sittin’ there suckin’ toothpicks
Drinkin’ Nehis an’ onion soup mix,
An’ I says Earl, let’s mail a card to mother
and send them chickens on down t’other side,
Yeah let’s giv’em a ride.

Chorus- Wolf Creek Pass
way up on the Great Divide
Truckin’ on down the other side.

Well Earl put down his bottle
An’ mashed his foot down on the throttle
Then a couple of boobs
and a thousand cubes
of a 1948 peterbuilt screamed t’ life.
We woke up the chickens.
We roared on off of that shoulder
sprayin’ pinecones, rocks, and boulders,
and put 400 head
of them Rhode Island Red
and a couple of burned out roosters on the line.
Look out below cuz here we go.

Chorus

Well we commenced to truckin’
and them hens commenced to cluckin’.
Then Earl took out a match,
scratched his pants
and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar
and took a puff, ‘says
My ain’t this pertty up here.
I says Earl this hill can spill us,
you better slow down,
you gonna’ kill us.
Just make one mistake
an’ it’s the pearly gates
for them 85 crates o’ USDA approved cluckers.
You wanna’ hit second?

Chorus

Well Earl grabed onto the shifter
and stabbed her into fifth gear.
Then the chromium-plated
fully illuminated
genuine accessory shift knob
come right off in his hand.
I says you wanna screw that thing back on Earl?
Well he was tryin to thread it on there
when the fire fell off of his cigar
and dropped on down
sorta rolled around
and lit the cuff of Earls pants
an’ burned a hole in his sock.
Yeah sorta set him right on fire.
Well I looked on outta the window
an’ started countin’ phone poles
goin’ by at the rate of 4 to the 7th power.
Well I put 2 and 2 together
and added 12 an’ carried 5,
come up with 22,000 telephone poles an hour.
I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide
His lip was curled and his leg was fried
and his hand was froze to the wheel
like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard.
I says Earl I’m not the type to complain
but the time has come for me to explain
that you don’t apply some brake real soon,
their gonna’ have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon.
Well Earl rared back, cocked his leg,
stepped down as hard as he could on the brake,
pedal went clear to the floor
‘ stayed right there on the floor.
Said it was kinda like steppin’ on a plum.
Well from there on down it just wasn’t real pertty,
it was hairpin county and switchback city.
One of ’em looked like a can full of worms,
another one looked like malaria germs.
Right in the middle of the whole damn show
was a real nice tunnel now wouldn’t you know.
The sign said clearance to the 12 foot line
but them chickens was stacked to 13-9.
Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred and ten
like gas throuugh a funnel and eggs through a hen.
We took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Louisiana swamp.
Went down an’ around an’ around an’ down
we ran outta ground at the edge of town
and bashed into the side of the feed store
in downtown Pagosa Springs.

Chrous
(repeat)

 

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